News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News

(Hat tip: @NamelessCynic)

The Xristians have merged with the Q-Spiracy:

A number of Christian pastors and so-called “prophets” predicted ahead of the 2020 election that Trump would win reelection, claiming that was God’s will. When that prophecy did not come to fruition, some apologized and admitted they were wrong. Others, like Jansen, have found creative ways to justify the current reality in the U.S.

And you’ll never guess what that justification is!

“You have to realize what’s taken place in our nation has been a hostile takeover, and just because there was a fake inauguration [of Biden]…for optics and for posture, let them have their day in the sun,” Jansen, the founder of Global Fire Ministries International based out of Tennessee, said during a Tuesday episode of the Elijah Streams YouTube program. Right Wing Watch first reported Jansen’s remarks.

Wait for it…

“It’s a tale of two presidents and right now in America—because President Trump has never conceded, he never agreed to anything, never stepped away, never conceded,” Jansen continued. “He basically stepped aside momentarily, while things are being sorted out.” The evangelical minister said Trump’s effort to stay in office by overturning the elections results in the court was stymied by “corrupt” courts and judges.

And as we all know, uh, something – something – something…

“The last defense is military. So the military, actually the military is in control right now,” Jansen said. “They’ve already made their determination. Now it’s about execution. Now it’s about returning civil power after the ‘we the people’ factor, the rightly, duly-elected president from this past election comes forward and exposes the corruption—there will be civil power restored in the United States,” he insisted. “And that president will be Donald J. Trump.”

It’s fascinating to me how much these people who claim to love, Love, LOVE the Constitution have never read it:

SECTIONS 1–6. The terms of the President and Vice President shall end at noon on the 20th day of January, and the terms of Senators and Representatives at noon on the 3d day of January, of the years in which such terms would have ended if this article had not been ratified; and the terms of their successors shall then begin. The Congress shall assemble at least once in every year, and such meeting shall begin at noon on the 3d day of January, unless they shall by law appoint a different day.

So you see, it doesn’t matter if Hair Füror conceded or not, his term ended on January 20; there is nothing about conceding in the Constitution, that just good sportsmanship and civility, and we know that TFG knows nothing about either of those things.

Meanwhile, back to the Prophet Jansen:

Later in the interview, Jansen urged viewers to “watch what the Lord does,” but he predicted that things will move forward and Trump will be reinstated “by the end of April.”

That’s not scriptural. That’s not legal. That’s not gonna happen.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead M Davis)

This entry was posted in Q-spiracy, The Coup Klux Klan (Republicans), The Stupid Coup, Xristian Xraxies. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. spotthedog says:

    Thank Dog he’s not a neighbor!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Jimmy T says:

    Having lived with fundies before I ventured out on my own, and tolerated them for many years thereafter, became a scientist and joined the ranks of the damned, I have a pretty clear idea of the gullibility of the true believers. Yes they are. I remember being shown a video of a young man who died and visited heaven, saw the pearly gates, saw the streets paved with gold etc, etc, and etc. The video was quite explicit. Funny thing was that he was revived and lived and maybe living still, but at some point he recanted saying that his parents made him do it (Pretty sure there is a commandment against lying). But no matter. The story was never in doubt in the fundie mind, but was soon interpreted as an allegorical presentation from God herself that allowed the faithful to see the glories of heaven. Didn’t much comport with the teachings of Jesus though, but did comport with greed…

    So I’m totally not surprised or impressed with the latest iteration. The “body” of Christ depends on a hive mentality for its existence, and can only influence the delusional. But be warned when the hive get stirred up there may be Hell to pay…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. roket says:

    I assume that would be April 1st. Followed by the moving of prophetic goalposts forever and ever. Ramen.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Buttermilk Sky says:

    “…and be sure to send your love offerings, the Lord accepts Paypal and all major credit cards.”


  5. MDavis says:

    This guy, this “profit”, is peddling a theory where anyone who says “I’m the president” should get that position, as long as he’s the right kind of guy, one who let’s them keep conning their flock as long as they share in the grift. It’s the back scratching thing – You scratch mine, I’ll scratch yours – only with sharing wallets and hiding minors.


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