Bail Denied For Muffin Defender!

When the 60-Minutes charm gambit fails…

Judge rejects QAnon shaman’s bid for release

The spear-wielding self-described shaman who stormed the Senate chamber on Jan. 6 will remain behind bars pending trial, a federal judge ruled on Monday.

The decision by Jacob Chansley, an adherent of the QAnon conspiracy theory, to speak to CBS’ “60 Minutes+” and other media outlets appears to have backfired, as U.S. District Court Judge Royce Lamberth said Chansley’s statements underscored his ongoing dangerousness. Lamberth repeatedly cited Chansley’s comments to “60 Minutes+” — as well as his mother’s — as evidence that he shouldn’t be released.

“[D]efendant’s statements after January 6 indicate that he does not fully appreciate the severity of the charges brought against him,” Lamberth wrote in a 32-page opinion. “If defendant does not understand the severity of the allegations against him, the Court finds no reason to believe he would not commit the same or similar actions again.

As you may recall, the Q-Shaman was only sanctifying the joint (as one does) and he protected some muffins in the break room from being stolen (as one does during insurrection).

It’s all about priorities.

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14 Responses to Bail Denied For Muffin Defender!

  1. donnah says:

    They should keep him in prison, and they can put his mom in with him.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sirius Lunacy says:

    “As you may recall, the Q-Shaman was only sanctifying the joint (as one does)”
    And now that he’s in ‘the joint’ maybe he could sanctify that as well. Maybe he can go on a tour for, oh say, the next twenty years or so sanctifying various prisons around the country.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. sos says:

    I detect disingenuousness

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Martin Pollard says:

    Do you know the muffin man?

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Ten Bears says:

    Wait! That thing on his head was/is because he has no hair!? Laughing. Out. Loud

    And that “beard” ~ wut, the cat got out?

    Liked by 3 people

  6. roket says:

    QAnon Shamon, Protector of Muffins and Consumer of Organics, says “Your chemically infused muffins are safe with me. Your form of government? Not so much.”

    Liked by 1 person

  7. rsgnsf says:

    LOL. So he’s inside the break room, protecting the muffins, while one of his co-stormers is out in the lobby taking s#*ts on the floor.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. sos says:

    You all will be singing a different tune when Qrazies are all over you or your wife’s muffins.

    Wait, that doesn’t sound right.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Redhand says:

    Wait a minute, you mean the QAnon shaman’s arguments for bail are a sham?

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    He shouldn’t complain. He can just use astral projection to evade his prison bars. He IS a shaman, after all.


  11. pagan in repose says:

    “Girl you thought he was a man but he was a Muffin…” Frank Zappa


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