Mitch McConnell Has Plans To Be Evil Beyond The Grave

Amply be-chinned #MoscowMitch McConnell

When Ol’ Scratch finally calls him home in a whoosh of sulfur and fire as befits him, amply be-chinned Mitch McConnell has plans and machinations to continue screwing the people of Kentucky, in his name:



SENATE MINORITY LEADER Mitch McConnell has compiled a short list of successors in his home state of Kentucky, preparing for the possibility that he does not serve out his full term, Kentucky Republicans tell The Intercept…

Don’t get my hopes up like that. It isn’t nice.

Under current law, the power to appoint McConnell’s replacement falls to Democratic Gov. Andy Beshear. But new legislation McConnell is pushing in the Kentucky General Assembly would strip the governor of that power and put it into the hands of the state GOP…

The bill alters current state statute that allows the governor to appoint a replacement in the event of a vacancy to the U.S. Senate. If the bill becomes law, the appointment to fill a vacancy will be selected from a list of three names submitted by the state executive committee of the same political party as the senator who held the vacant seat. According to the bill, the appointee from that list will then serve until a successor has been elected by voters. The legislation goes on to list instructions on when elections take place in the event of a vacancy.

You’ll be shocked to learn, Gentle Readers, that amply be-chinned Mitch has a ranked list of who he wants to inherit his seat:

The list is topped by his protégé, state Attorney General Daniel Cameron, and also includes former United Nations Ambassador Kelly Craft, whose billionaire coal magnate husband is a major McConnell donor, as well as Kentucky Secretary of State Michael Adams, a former McConnell Scholar.

Weird how Elaine Chao isn’t on it, but maybe she doesn’t have the cash to buy her way onto the list? (I joke, but Mitch wants someone else’s cash, no doubt.)

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9 Responses to Mitch McConnell Has Plans To Be Evil Beyond The Grave

  1. donnah says:

    Mitch McConnell IS Ol’ Scratch.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. roket says:

    McConnel’s wish list for his replacement is a deathwish LDN will be glad to murder.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Aurora Silvermane says:

    The evil ones always last for like 100 years. It’s certainly possible that he’s getting his affairs in order because he sees himself having to resign over certain conflicts of interest.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Perhaps that episode where his hand and face were all discolored and zombified was more serious than anyone was willing to admit.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ten Bears says:

    I’m sure our Manchurian houseboy Senator from Kentucky and his Communist Chinese Princess wife have a real nice villa picked out somewhere where the air is clean.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. pagan in repose says:

    I believe that his (the person who shall not be named) pick was Agkistrodon Pkiscivorus. He is just as wiggly and poisonous as the twitchy mitch his-self.


  7. Dan says:

    My feet can NOT wait to dance on his grave.

    Liked by 1 person

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