Now Texas Is Just Eff’ing With All of Us


Texas to end all coronavirus restrictions

Texas will end its coronavirus restrictions next week with an upcoming executive order, Gov. Greg Abbot (R) announced Tuesday during a press conference in Lubbock.

“Ah’ve eff’ed up everything else, y’all,” he didn’t add while playing with his toes, “so why not this?”

Why it matters: After Abbott signs the new order, which rescinds previous orders, all businesses can open to 100% capacity and the statewide mask mandate will be over, though large parts of the state will remain under mask local orders.

What they’re saying: “It is now time to open Texas 100%,” Abbott said Tuesday. “For nearly a half a year, most businesses have been open either 75% or 50%, and during that time, too many Texans have been sidelined from employment opportunities.”

“Ah did real good with th’ energy fiasco, didn’t Ah,” Abbott didn’t say. “Trust can me ‘n this one, y’all.”

I think Abbot is listening to his Lt. Gubnor, Dan Patrick again, who claims that Meemaw and Grampa would gladly die to save Capitalism for the grands.

  • “Too many small business owners have struggled to pay their bills. This must end,” he added.

“An’ Ah found a hellaway fer it t’ end,” he did not conclude. “Vote Republican!,” he added, “Y’all deserve it, Texas!”

This entry was posted in Crazeee States, Don't Re-Open, masks, Pandemics, Shut Yo Mouth Fools, Texas, America's Lab for Bad Policy, Wash Yo Hands Fools. Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to Now Texas Is Just Eff’ing With All of Us

  1. Pingback: Now Texas Is Just Eff’ing With All of Us — Mock Paper Scissors | Ned Hamson's Second Line View of the News

  2. Front page of todays local paper has an article about how CDC people are begging the states not to do this shit, because it’ll just set off a new spike.

    these fuckers are determined to kill us all ain’t they…

    Liked by 4 people

    • sos says:

      At least Abbot managed to time it right with respect to the coming “Onslaught of the Variants”*. Wait, I might have that backwards…

      *Not to be confused with the “Bonfires of the Vanities”.

      Liked by 2 people

    • R White says:

      They’re only begging instead of demanding b/c like with everything else these days, redneck assholes like Abbott have a means of whining about their supposed victim hood anytime someone, especially those I’m the medical/science communities contradict their shitty behavior or language since the worthless media fails to point out how fools like Abbott create their own problems. Instead of going after & calling Abbott a murderer of Latinos & AA, we instead crucify one of our own, Cuomo, who is a creepy asshole in his own right, but not a predator and certainly not the scummy sociopath a man who was placed in that chair by “an act of god” is.

      Liked by 4 people

  3. If only they could be convinced that suicide is not sin, they could all “Nearer my Dog to thee” themselves and do us all a favor.
    I keep having the feeling I’m inhabiting bad fiction and Abbot is trying to open the hellmouth so his infernal masters can come to this plane and feed directly.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Martin Pollard says:

    Sure, why not? The Great Oil Kingdom of Texastan has cared more about business and profits than their citizens for a long time now. Move along, nothing new to see here, you looky-loos.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Infidel753 says:

    Mississippi is doing the same. Other red states will follow. And there will indeed be another infection spike.

    My own state, Oregon, has mostly followed the covid-19 restrictions quite diligently. Here in Portland I never see anyone in an enclosed space like a store without a mask. Our total covid-19 death toll stands at a little over 2,000. If our per-capita death rate had been the same as the country as a whole, it would be 6,000. The restrictions literally saved 4,000 lives here.

    Funny how the people who don’t believe in evolution always seem to provide the textbook examples of natural selection in action. Kinda stinks for the few sane people who live in their states, though.

    Eiron, the goddess of irony, farted so hard she laughed.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Jimmy T says:

      Just got vaccinated today. Had to go to Salem because Portland is pretty much a cluster F*ck. Was easy. Went to the fairgrounds. Got in and out right away. Oregon has done well managing the virus. Everyone seems to understand masking and social distancing. Bodes well for the future…

      Liked by 1 person

    • Wesley Sandel says:

      When I moved to Mississippi in 1960 it was the most racist, backward state in the Union with the lowest standard of living, the lowest literacy rates, the worst health care and education.

      Today, after six more decades of white Southern Baptist leadership, Mississippi is the most racist, backward state in the Union with the lowest standard of living, the lowest literacy rates, the worst health care and education.

      And if you ask any white Mississippian, he’ll tell you that it’s all the fault of black people.

      It’s a White Trash World!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. skinnydennis says:

    No restrictions? Ya mean anyone can catch the ‘rona?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Redhand says:

    They may take our lives, but they can’t take away our free-dumb he cries, then coughs and collapses.

    Irresponsible asshole!

    Sorry, I can’t be more eloquent than this.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. roket says:

    It appears TX wants its own variant. How does SARS-CoV-2-TX (v1.0) sound for starters?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Wesley Sandel says:

    Doctors and scientists stoopid. Donald have big brane. Virus hoax. Drink bleech.

    Liked by 3 people

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