Eiron, The Goddess of Irony, Is Doing Stellar Work

Separated at Birth?

As we all know, Ayatollah Ted snatched up a couple of white girls to take out of the country, er, blamed his daughters for that time he fled freezing Texas for the sunny beaches of Mexico, like a common frat pledge at Spring Break, and won our Dad of the Year vote.

Anyway, as we learned later his wife (dubbed a dog by Vulgarmort) had been trying to round up friends and neighbors to go along to the Ritz Carlton (only $309 Ameros per night! Stay through Sunday!) on a group chat, only to be betrayed by someone, and like the Spanish Inquisition it was a development that no one could have expected.

Anyway, our Canadian Senator was pissed:

(Beware that this podcast was first designed to mock the passing of RGB; these people are terrible.)

“We’ve got a number Republicans who are neighbors, but we also have a number of Democrats, you know, folks on our street who put up Beto [O’Rourke] signs [when I was running for reelection], which I thought was a little rude. But I didn’t, like, hold a victory party in their front yards when we won. It’s a sign of how ridiculously politicized and nasty and just…you know, here’s a suggestion, just don’t be assholes. Treat each other as human beings, have some degree, some modicum of respect.”

In an ever-expanding universe, I am told that anything is possible, but Ayatollah Ted admonishing other to not be assholes has got to be the work of Eiron, the Goddess of Irony.

Bonus Track:

(Hat tip: Fair and Unbalanced and our pal Burr.)

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5 Responses to Eiron, The Goddess of Irony, Is Doing Stellar Work

  1. Ten Bears says:

    Quban Canadian quite possibly illegal alien.

    That beard makes me think tho Snowflake survived the cat did not.

    [oh, right, beardless: old joke, “you growin’ a beard or did the cat get out?]

    Liked by 1 person

  2. revzafod says:

    “…we also have a number of Democrats, you know, folks on our street who put up Beto [O’Rourke] signs [when I was running for reelection], which I thought was a little rude. ”

    So If you’re one of his neighbors, you’re not supposed to do anything that might offend him? Maybe we could get Rand Paul’s neighbor to come to Texas and move in next door to him.

    Liked by 2 people

    • R White says:

      I have no doubt that many individuals would gladly pay Rand’s neighbor’s taxes as long as he gave Aqua Buddha an ass whooping every so often to humble the pompous moron.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. R White says:

    Raphael’s beard is a pathetic means of “butching up” his appearance since he’s been known to spend a lot of his down time lately with lady g…

    Liked by 2 people

  4. MDavis says:

    Okay, so Ted riling up the rubes in preparation for Jan-6 isn’t enough to get his peeps to call him out as a terrorist, but don’t those people remember the weird and awkward interview with him and his wife about why they have so many cans of soup? The big cans?
    Wake up sheeple! Uproxx knows! Their headline:

    What The Heck Did Ted Cruz Need With 100 Cans Of Campbell’s Chunky Soup?

    Like

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