Senatorette Graham: Well, Slap My Ass and Call Me Biscuit!’

Eat-up, sodomites

Fiddle-dee-dee! Senatorette Lindsey Graham says that tumarrah is another day! Shorter Lindsery: “You sirs are no gentlemen!”



“Your mother is a slut and your father is a drunk! How dare you tell the unvarnished truth! Is there no decorum in the chambers anymore! Salts! Bring me my salts!”

I still maintain that whatever the kompromat Lord Damp Nut has on Lindsey must be hot stuff. [Side note: I’m guessing he had some of DC’s finest rent boys as caddies on one of their golf outings. No need to say anything and Lindsey got the message.]

But, you know, other members of the Jury are just as sanguine:

“The result of this trial is preordained,” said [Ted] Cruz, who had mounted an effort to contest the Electoral College results on January 6. “President Trump will be acquitted. I think the trial is a waste of time and is the result of seething partisan anger on the part of congressional Democrats.”

“I’d say it’s more of the same,” [Josh] Hawley said of the arguments Wednesday. “It’s also exactly what’s in the briefs, by the way. So it’s, I think, pretty predictable.” Hawley, who last month contested the counting of the Electoral College votes, repeatedly dismissed the House managers’ case as “nothing new here” and said he saw no grounds for a trial.

I normally would wonder why, but I suppose when one is an accessory before the fact and not on trial oneself AND a member of the jury, well…

Even Schrödinger’s Senator, the physics paradox known in this dimension as Rand Paul, a man from the multiverse where anything is possible including being elected in the 2016 Goat Rodeo and being elected to the Senate or both or neither can happen at the same time or never, took some time-off from his doodling to say sumpin’ about sumpin‘:

Rand Paul engineered a strategy that put all but six GOP senators on the record saying former President Donald Trump’s impeachment trial is unconstitutional. And even after visceral new footage of the Jan. 6 insurrection rattled fellow Republicans, he’s feeling pretty good about Trump’s whip count.

“There will be at least 44. Or more. I think we might get one or two back on acquittal,” Paul (R-Ky.) said in an interview. “Everybody objects to that violence. Everybody is horrified by that violence. But the question is: Did the president incite that?”

Sen. Marco ‘Big Gulp’ Rubio, the Cold Warrior for a New Generation, and beloved grandson figure of Wingnuts over the age of 65 and under the age of death, couldn’t find a Bible Verse of the Day to tweet out, so he tried to plumb the depths of his soul:

“This is not a vote on whether what happened that day was horrifying because it most certainly was,” said Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.). “This is not a vote on whether the president bears any responsibility, which I’ve said all along.”

As for the Republicans chief assertion that it is not constitutional to convict a citizen in an impeachment trial, well, given that amply be-chinned Mitch McConnell wouldn’t reconvene the Senate until the day before the inauguration, it kinda made that un fait accompli. Note that Constitutional scholars disagree with the GQP on this.

This entry was posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Marco 'Big Gulp' Rubio, Proud Boi-Lite Sen. Josh Hawley, Rand 'Schrödinger's Senator' Paul, Senatorette Miss Lindsey Graham, The Coup Klux Klan (Republicans), The Stupid Coup. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Senatorette Graham: Well, Slap My Ass and Call Me Biscuit!’

  1. roket says:

    Quick question, Will these ‘principled’, ‘constitutional, ‘law and order’ conservatives be leaving the GQP or will they forsake their party and join the new yet-to-be-named party we’re hearing so much about these days? Decisions. Decisions.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ten Bears says:

    Lindsayyyy brings to mind a to my observation sadly misappropriated tune …

    Buddy you’re a boy make a big noise
    Playin in the street gonna be a big man some day
    You got mud on yo face
    You big disgrace
    Kickin’ your kind all over the place

    Sing it! … We will, we will … Rock You


  3. JTO says:

    Me, I am distracted by Ted “Wolvewhine?” Cruz’ beard. Which parts of him are adamantium? Would it be responsible to speculate? It would be irresponsible not to!

    In solidarity from the Arctic socialist hellscape of waffles and brown cheese.


  4. Redhand says:

    The disgrace of the GOP Senate is complete. I out of words sufficient to condemn them, My hope is that their support of sedition materially helps to kill the GOP as a party, once and for all.


  5. spotthedog says:

    I guess the plan is for Lady G to whip out another of her patented Kavanaugh-level hissy fits complete with screeching, sneering, finger jabbing. History will not look kindly on these assholes.


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