President Handsome Joe (and I must note that I’m going to have to learn how to spell president correctly after 4 years of prznint; my spellchecker resigned on prznint) signed the promised Executive Orders, oddly without a bunch of toadies and minions applauding him for being able to hold a Sharpie in his little cloven hoofies, and telling him that he is the bestest little Mango-hued Shitgibbon the world has ever known; Handsome Joe broke with tradition and didn’t hold each orders up and show it around, awaiting praise for his seismographic signature.
Doesn’t Handsome Joe know how it’s done?
Let’s jump into the 17 Executive Orders that President Handsome Joe signed, some of which are un-dos of Lord Damp Nut’s misadministration:
- Asks Americans to wear masks for 100 days and requires it on federal property
- Stops the U.S. from leaving the WHO and appoints Anthony Fauci head of the U.S. delegation
- Creates a COVID-19 czar with authority on production and distribution of vaccines
- Extends the moratorium on evictions and foreclosures until March 31
- Extends the pause of student loan payments until Sept. 30
- Rejoins the Paris climate accord
- Cancels the Keystone XL pipeline and over 100 other Trump actions on the environment
- Terminates Hair Füror’s racist rewrite of American history (the 1776 commission) and directs agencies to review their racial policies
- Prevents workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity
- Requires noncitizens to be counted in the census
- Strengthens DACA
- Allows visitors from the seven majority-Muslim countries Hair Füror banned
- Undoes Trump’s expansion of immigration enforcement within the U.S.
- Halts construction of Hair Füror’s Tortilla Curtain
- Extends deferrals of deportations of Liberians until June 30
- Requires executive branch employees to sign an ethics pledge
- Directs OMB to modernize regulatory review and undoes Trump’s approval process
Think of them as a down-payment to returning to normal, whatever that is. At least 5 of the EOs are undoing the very racist immigration policies set by Hair Füror, and that’s definitely refreshing.
This is a small thing, but sometimes small things count more than big things:
Shorter PeeWee Hermann Goering: From hell’s heart, I stab at thee. For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee.
The longer version: