Dewy, Cheatum, and Howe Decline Trump As Client

It comes as a shock that notorious invoice stiffer and twice-impeached grifter Prznint Stupid is not finding any legal talent to defend him in the upcoming impeachment trial in the Senate:

Allies of the outgoing president have been canvassing Washington’s legal landscape looking for representation but so far are coming up short. Lawyers who defended him in the previous impeachment trial, including Jay Sekulow and White House Counsel Pat Cipollone, have said no this time, according to people familiar with the matter. Other lawyers who have defended Trump at times, including former Florida attorney general Pam Bondi, Eric Herschmann, Pat Philbin, and Marc Kasowitz aren’t interested in joining a team this time, the people said. Some of the lawyers who don’t want a role have privately said what Trump did was indefensible.

More broadly, a number of prominent law firms have refused to engage in any legal representation involving the president’s actions following the November 3 election. “I’m not terribly surprised that top tier conservative attorneys who a Republican president might normally turn to would not be interested in jumping on this particular grenade,” said Keith Whittington, a politics professor at Princeton University. “Those who might have been sympathetic to defending the president in other contexts such as his first impeachment don’t necessarily want to defend what he’s done here—both because they aren’t easy to defend and they’ll tarnish people’s professional reputation down the road.”

Maybe he should try Wolfram & Hart*?

*Imma Buffy nerd.

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10 Responses to Dewy, Cheatum, and Howe Decline Trump As Client

  1. Martin Pollard says:

    Unless I’m missing a long-time MPS in-joke, shouldn’t that be “Dewey, Cheatum & Howe”?


  2. sos says:

    I can see Rudy’s oily noggin ending up in a scuzzy arcade’s claw machine game. Perhaps LDN would flip Jr a quarter to grab Rudy back into the family fold.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. spotthedog says:

    Alan Dershowitz has supposedly said he is currently defending tRump in the court of public opinion only. Guess he’ll have to get a public defender, or represent himself (Teeheehee!).

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Saw a rumour yesterday that John Eastman has offered to do it. Of course he’s the guy who was telling Idiot Amin that Pence has the power and authority to choose which electors get counted.

    Of course, this depends on whether or not Eastman is in the pokey for his role in the attempted coup.

    This was such a bad take that even John “Torture Enthusiast” Yoo was advising Pence against it…

    Yoo is one of those ‘Unitary Executive’ cheerleaders, so it had to be really bad for him to say ‘Aw hell naw!’

    Liked by 2 people

  5. roket says:

    In this case, the glove fits.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Kent Fossgreen says:

    I hear Sidney Powell is available.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. revzafod says:

    Lionel Hutz might have been interested, but he retired in 1998 when Phil Hartman died.


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