We’ll Still Have Rubio To Push Around

2024 Goat Rodeo

“My braces are too tight.”

The lone voice of Marco ‘Big Gulp’ Rubio, the Cold Warrior for a New Generation, and beloved grandson figure of Wingnuts over the age of 65 and under the age of death, breaks through the void to announce his electoral intentions:

“If the President says he’s going to run in 2024, he’ll probably clear the field, he’ll be the Republican nominee, and he’ll spend the next four years running. And then I think he would have a chance to win, not just the primary, but the General Election. As we just saw we had a very close election. It’s his decision to make, but if he decides to run, I think what it means is that Donald Trump will be the next Republican nominee,” Rubio told NBC 6 in Miami…

“I still have work to do in the U.S. Senate. We’ve had a very successful four years out of the six years in this term. I have two years left in this term, and we have a lot of work to do. We’re full steam ahead,” Rubio said. “I’m also doing my job, which I think is one of the most important things you can do if you want to be reelected. I have every intention of being on that ballot in November of 2022, and I feel very good about the account we’ll be able to bring to the people of Florida.”

A relieved Floriduh salutes you, Big Gulp.

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6 Responses to We’ll Still Have Rubio To Push Around

  1. DoremusJessup says:

    What a tool.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Karla says:

    In the real world, people who just don’t show up to work more than 10% of the time are not doing their jobs. Yet Big Gulp claims he’s doing his.
    I just can’t stand that guy.
    He is one of the Four Whores’ Men of the Apocalypse — along with Rick/Matt Gaetz, Senator Skeletor, and gov DeathSantis. I would like to apologize on behalf of my state.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Bruce388 says:

    I’m old enough to remember when Liddle Marco said he hated the job of senator. That was before he ran for re-election to the job he hates.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    He’s going to be primaried by some QAnon whacko, and he will probably lose. Laura Loomer is probably lining up already.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. roket says:

    His phishing technique needs more work. This is a poor way to get on the all you can eat pardon buffet invitation list. Be blunt.


  6. Ten Bears says:

    Not a ‘Muirkan, A Qban. A legal alien.

    “Ted”, is not a native-born ‘Muirkan, is a Qban Canadian illegal alien.

    Show us the birth certificate, Raphael, long form.


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