Someone got to our Stable Jenius with the thorozine dart and/or polo mallet?
As we all know by now, Hair Füror is as frantic as a pack of beagles in a vacuum cleaner factory and is trying to overthrow the election. One of his last stands is probably Michigan, which will certify its election results today at 1PM their time.
Some other developments to consider
- A lawsuit brought by Lord Damp Nut’s 2020 Goat Rodeo campaign that tried to block the certification of Pennsylvania’s election results was savagely dismissed by a federal judge on Saturday evening.
- Meanwhile in Wisconsin, Attorney heading up Trump campaign’s Wisconsin recount effort is seeking to throw out his own vote:
The attorney leading President Donald Trump’s recount effort in Wisconsin voted illegally according to his own legal argument that in-person absentee ballots should be thrown out. So did his wife.
High dudgeon and low comedy.
So what’s up? Why are people freaking out about Michigan?
“For what is believed would be the first time in history, Michigan’s elections board could deadlock Monday on certifying the state’s presidential election results.
“By law and by practice, certification by the Board of State Canvassers — comprised of two Democratic appointees and two Republican ones — is supposed to be a routine sign-off. Certification acknowledges that Michigan’s unofficial results match the tabulated vote counts. It follows a two-week period of double-checking in Michigan’s 83 counties, where some inaccuracies in the unofficial numbers, as is normal, were found and corrected.
“But these are not normal times. The climate is hyper-partisan, disinformation is rampant, and Republican President Donald Trump and his team of lawyers are spreading false claims, working to somehow overturn election results in Michigan and other key states, and upend President-elect Joe Biden’s victory in the Electoral College, where Biden rung up 306 electoral votes to Trump’s 232.”
Now, as we mentioned before, Michigan is not a trifecta state, and it does have a Democratic triplex (Governor, Secretary of State, and Attorney General are all Democrats). If one of the Republicans on the board refuses to certify, Gov. Whitmer has the power to replace that person.
I think we got this.
Good to know that the Michigan Republican who values Trump over party stands an excellent chance of hearing “YOU’RE FIRED!” for real.
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One or two Repubs on a state board in Michigan vs 6 million voters; some darn simple math right there!
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Two of our County Supes voted against certifying the vote.
One of them because the local precincts offered felt tip pens (not Sharpies, but old school Flair felt tips. Possibly the same raggedy-ass half dried out ones they’ve used for years) and the instructions were confoozing because some of them still say don’t use Sharpies. Which are felt tip pens, after all, and thus by the commutative principle of ipso facto ergo cadabra “felt tips” == “Maybe all the votes were…something something something not legal, we should give the election to Trump.”
The other refused to certify because, and I’m not making this shit up, “there were “questions” elsewhere in the state and country about the vote.”
Only the Pima County vote totals were up for certification and he’d already agreed that there was nothing wrong with them.
Fortunately the three sane people on the Board overruled them and our county certified the vote, and only one Repuke (“Questions” guy) will remain come January.
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got to get me some thorazine darts
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Elephant-sized.
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I hate that we are forced to play into Trump’s hands AGAIN. He and the Republicans manage to control the narrative every time. There ought to be some process by which these endless appeals are shut down and the Squatter in Chief is as lame a duck as ever has been. Not only is he distracting us with these appeals, he’s conducting ugly business by cutting military funding while damaging our troops in the Middle East. And we aren’t stopping him.
He needs to go.
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Every elected official from the Democratic Party needs to repeat- as often and as loud as they can: “Trump lost the election and the sitting Republicans who continue to support his subversion of democracy should be called out by name and charged with conspiracy to commit voter fraud.”
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Hold on there!
If they did that they wouldn’t be welcome at any cocktail parties for at least a month.
you’d better quite that crazy talk before someone hears you.
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The Michigan State Board of Canvassers just voted to certify, 3-0. (Care to guess the party affiliation of the one person who abstained?) Now, can we please just get on with this, already? I’m tired of this shit.
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I get the creeps every time you use that fugly mugshot, dude.
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