Failed dictator and current prznint, Lord Damp Nut is not going into the twilight of his career easily. Instead of being gracious, like a common Bush, instead he is acting like a terrifying kid threatening to send everyone into the cornfield.
For instance, rather than face reality, our End-Times enthusiast Secretary of State Mike Pompeo says that “There will be a smooth transition to a second Trump administration.” The GSA refuses to sign the paperwork that would allocate office space and funding to Handsome Joe Biden’s transition team; the Prznintial Personnel Office is vetting new hires for the 4th Reich II: Electric Boogaloo and some dead-ender in the White House is demanding that they prepare and release a new budget, too. Totally normal in a completely psychotic way.
All of this has left us wondering if we are going to have to pry Hair Füror out of the Oval Office like a bloated tick. And so while our blood pressure rises and our sleep declines, one lone voice in the wilderness (well, a house-arrested podcaster) tells us not to worry:
Cohen spoke with MSNBC host Ari Melber about the president’s possible endgame plans as President-elect Joe Biden prepares to enter the White House on Jan. 20.
“After Christmas, he usually comes back January 5th, January 6th. He likes to go to Mar-a-Lago,” said Cohen. “I suspect he doesn’t even come back to Washington. I don’t believe he’s going to go to the inauguration because he himself fundamentally cannot sit in a chair knowing that the cameras are on him and that the world is looking at him as a loser. He cannot do that.”
Oddly, this sounds about right, and has the added benefit of having the Secret Service paying full retail to guard the brat.
Meanwhile, Axios tells us that Prznint Stupid is working on his next project: Trump TeeVee!
Scoop: Trump eyes digital media empire to take on Fox News
This totally scans: stupid, petty, vengeance.
Here’s Trump’s plan, according to the source:
- There’s been lots of speculation about Trump starting a cable channel. But getting carried on cable systems would be expensive and time-consuming.
Dude is in debt up to his ferret on top. What’s the cheapest way?
- Instead, Trump is considering a digital media channel that would stream online, which would be cheaper and quicker to start.
- Trump’s digital offering would likely charge a monthly fee to MAGA fans. Many are Fox News viewers, and he’d aim to replace the network — and the $5.99-a-month Fox Nation streaming service, which has an 85% conversion rate from free trials to paid subscribers — as their top destination.
He’s gonna do the ol’ Mooselini move and milk his supporters? That worked out so well for her:
and he has a little list:
Trump’s database of email and cellphone contacts would be a huge head start.
- Trump’s lists are among the most valuable in politics — especially his extensive database of cellphone numbers for text messages.
Axios is told Trump may use vote-count rallies to undercut Fox.
- “He’s going to spend a lot of time slamming Fox,” the source said.
I’m a fan of this plan, win-win says I! Destroy Fox News AND keep Possum Hollar fidget spinning.