Area Toddler Has Temper Tantrum

Failed dictator and current prznint, Lord Damp Nut is not going into the twilight of his career easily. Instead of being gracious, like a common Bush, instead he is acting like a terrifying kid threatening to send everyone into the cornfield.

For instance, rather than face reality, our End-Times enthusiast Secretary of State Mike Pompeo says that “There will be a smooth transition to a second Trump administration.” The GSA refuses to sign the paperwork that would allocate office space and funding to Handsome Joe Biden’s transition team; the Prznintial Personnel Office is vetting new hires for the 4th Reich II: Electric Boogaloo and some dead-ender in the White House is demanding that they prepare and release a new budget, too. Totally normal in a completely psychotic way.

All of this has left us wondering if we are going to have to pry Hair Füror out of the Oval Office like a bloated tick. And so while our blood pressure rises and our sleep declines, one lone voice in the wilderness (well, a house-arrested podcaster) tells us not to worry:

Michael Cohen predicts Trump won’t return to White House after Christmas at Mar-a-Lago

President Trump‘s former lawyer Michael Cohen predicts Trump will not return to the White House after spending Christmas at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida.

Cohen spoke with MSNBC host Ari Melber about the president’s possible endgame plans as President-elect Joe Biden prepares to enter the White House on Jan. 20.

“After Christmas, he usually comes back January 5th, January 6th. He likes to go to Mar-a-Lago,” said Cohen. “I suspect he doesn’t even come back to Washington. I don’t believe he’s going to go to the inauguration because he himself fundamentally cannot sit in a chair knowing that the cameras are on him and that the world is looking at him as a loser. He cannot do that.”

Oddly, this sounds about right, and has the added benefit of having the Secret Service paying full retail to guard the brat.

Meanwhile, Axios tells us that Prznint Stupid is working on his next project: Trump TeeVee!

Scoop: Trump eyes digital media empire to take on Fox News

President Trump has told friends he wants to start a digital media company to clobber Fox News and undermine the conservative-friendly network, sources tell Axios.

The state of play: Some Trump advisers think Fox News made a mistake with an early call (seconded by AP) of President-elect Biden’s win in Arizona. That enraged Trump, and gave him something tangible to use in his attacks on the network.

  • “He plans to wreck Fox. No doubt about it,” said a source with detailed knowledge of Trump’s intentions.

This totally scans: stupid, petty, vengeance.

Here’s Trump’s plan, according to the source:

  • There’s been lots of speculation about Trump starting a cable channel. But getting carried on cable systems would be expensive and time-consuming.

Dude is in debt up to his ferret on top. What’s the cheapest way?

  • Instead, Trump is considering a digital media channel that would stream online, which would be cheaper and quicker to start.
  • Trump’s digital offering would likely charge a monthly fee to MAGA fans. Many are Fox News viewers, and he’d aim to replace the network — and the $5.99-a-month Fox Nation streaming service, which has an 85% conversion rate from free trials to paid subscribers — as their top destination.

He’s gonna do the ol’ Mooselini move and milk his supporters? That worked out so well for her:

The Stupidularity, Otherwise known as the “Scheisskopf Radius” Has Occurred

and he has a little list:

Trump’s database of email and cellphone contacts would be a huge head start.

  • Trump’s lists are among the most valuable in politics — especially his extensive database of cellphone numbers for text messages.

Axios is told Trump may use vote-count rallies to undercut Fox.

  • “He’s going to spend a lot of time slamming Fox,” the source said.

I’m a fan of this plan, win-win says I! Destroy Fox News AND keep Possum Hollar fidget spinning.

 

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6 Responses to Area Toddler Has Temper Tantrum

  1. Martin Pollard says:

    I’m sure Trump Media will be just as successful as Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, Trump Air, Trump Taj Mahal, the Trump presidency, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

    Liked by 6 people

    • Nangleator says:

      That flash in the pan just needs to last long enough to ignite Fox News before it is spent.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Martin Pollard says:

        As much as I’d love to see that (given that I despise Fox at levels that can’t be measured by any scientific instrument known to man), I also know that it’s probably going to take a lot more to take down Fox than a sizable minority of screaming Stormtrumpers and their rapidly mentally-challenged cult leader.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Jimmy T says:

    Getting sent to the cornfield by Mr Al Corn Pone…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. MDavis says:

    Cohen predicted he’d refuse to leave, but LDN has been pretty unsuccessful in getting buy in from his toadies on that plan. I hope Cohen is correct on this update.

    Like

  4. Pingback: You want to stop an even less ethical Fox News? Here’s your chance. | Mock Paper Scissors

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