It’s About Choices, Call The Election

Peggy Noonan weeps into her Mai-Tai

Handsome Joe Biden is pulling ahead in Georgia and Pennsylvania, and is still ahead in Nevada and Arizona and is very likely our President-Elect, and Kamala Harris is our ground-breaking first woman Vice-President (and first VP of color, too!), and this is all good news! Yay!

That said, Lord Damp Nut is not taking this well. There’s tons of reports that he is ranting, raving, and lying, throwing everything against the wall to see what sticks; so just another Saturday. He tantrums: “Counts must be stopped HERE, but must proceed THERE, and file lawsuits EVERYWHERE,” to  his legal team, which consists of noted F-Troopers David Bossie and [checks notes] Pam Bondi.

One might think that The Donald might be interested in preserving his brand (hoping to build Trump Tower Moscow while on the run, in exile, and whatnot), and cutting his losses, and one would be wrong. Lord Damp Nut has no dignity, and so he’s continuing to make an ass of himself.

Our failed political press won’t call it, but the 2020 Goat Rodeo is over. Lord Damp Nut does not have any reasonable, mathy chance of winning.

Everything in politics and in life is about choices. You can choose the fruit cup or the fruit plate (H/T: Daria), but you have to choose. With the ballots now counted, in previous elections our cowardly press would have made the announcement already.

A theory emerges from the cheap seats:

And seriously, it looks like that might be the case, 24 hours later.

And here’s where the merde gets tracked into the house: without an official call, Hair Füror and the rest of the Flying Hellmice of Possum Hollar are filling the void with russian-style disinformation and conspiracy theories, and the weak-brained are taking matters into their own hands.

“ALERT: Radical Liberals & Dems are trying to steal this election from Trump!”

Totally a coinkydink!

Lord Damp Nut does not know the meaning of the word concede (or many other words for that matter), and allegedly some aides have been planning to tell Hair Füror that it’s over (please let us know the next of kin). Anyway, other staffers like Trump-Virus super-spreader Mark Meadows “have not attempted to come to terms with the president about the reality of what is happening” and have instead fed into his claims of fraud.

Walking termite buffet Mike Pence is soliciting money for a legal defense fund, which is totally normal.

Exhibit A in why nepotism is a bad thing, The Trump Crime Family are watching their grift slip away. Reportedly The First Shady, Vanky,  is experiencing the novelty of emotions (we hope that tears don’t destroy the hard work of a team of world-class plastic surgeons), and trust me: Jar-Jar Vanka is not going to tell the madman that he’s lost. That’s a fool’s wager:

I assume by now that a gang is sweeping the White House for copper wire and other valuables they can strip away before they scurry into the night.

Yesterday, Handsome Joe Biden’s campaign spokesman Andrew Bates said that were not worried about Hair Füror refusing to leave the White House —not because they don’t believe he’s nuts and might literally bunker himself in the White House Bunker— but because security will simply escort him from the premises.

“The U.S. government is perfectly capable of escorting trespassers out of the White House.”

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9 Responses to It’s About Choices, Call The Election

  1. spotthedog says:

    Well how about that, we have finally learned to like math. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  2. beckymaenot says:

    I am so tired of TRE45ON, both the man and the mounting number of treasonous acts he is perpetrating. They will burn the house down before they leave. They are destroyers. Leaders across this country need to stand up and tell him to sit down. I’m not talking about the GOP enablers- because we all know they won’t say shit- but I am talking about real leaders from across the country- community leaders, corporate leaders, religious leaders, Wall Street leaders, political leaders, celebrity leaders etc… It’s past time to tell the loser he is done. I’m not a big fan of the “your either for us or against us” but at this point, it seems pretty obvious that if you care one bit about this country- no matter on what side your bread is buttered- you side with democracy and tell the WATB at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave to start packing.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. And those two armed men who were busted? Their teensypenis wagon was left on the street where they were caught….and, well, Philly has left them greetings.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. H-Bob says:

    If Trump won’t leave the White House, then invite him to play in a golf tournament with a big trophy! Then change the door locks.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. osirisopto says:

    I hope they impeach the shitstain again. See how many R senators vote to dismiss this time.

    Keep the R’s from doing anything dastardly in the final days by distraction.


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