Election Day Is Here!

Guys, as I write this about 98M Americans have already voted, and Lord Damp Nut has already told us his big, evil plans to throw-out their ballots. All the final states-wide polls have concluded, Handsome Joe Biden is solidly in the lead. We’ve got this.


Before all hell breaks loose, consider what Good Scissorheads everywhere have done during past last four years. Think about this: Republicans are frantically trying to get ballots thrown out in Texas. Texas!


We’ve waited for this day for 4 years, we can wail a little bit longer for results to come in. Here’s the dirty secret about election day:

Tonight there will be plenty of exciting news to consume once polls start closing tonight, but there won’t be much new information at all during the day today.

About Tonight: No results will be official. You don’t need to pay attention to exit polls.

If you like riding the Peleton of Doom, then by all means stay glued to social media and cable news, but please be circumspect about sharing stories you read. Security experts say that the Russians and other bad actors are going to be sowing chaos today and tomorrow on Social Media. Be aware of that and do not be their useful idiot.

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34 Responses to Election Day Is Here!

  1. donnah says:

    Yeah, there’s always an uproar about Election Day, and rightly so. That’s how we motivate people to vote. But this year, the real excitement may be spread out over the whole week, maybe longer. My state, Ohio may have fairly comprehensive results this evening, but we gotta wait, get this right, and then hopefully have our celebration. It’s gonna be a rollercoaster!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. ming says:

    Fittingly, Outlook reminded me this morning that Tuesday is trash day. Please don’t forget to take out the trash today.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. This is the “letters to the Editor” page in todays paper here:

    Liked by 2 people

  4. beckymaenot says:

    Also, this is a thing:

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Stony Pillow says:

    The board is set, the pieces are moving. We come to it at last… The great battle of our time.

    And it’ll probably be, of all places, in Philadelphia, starting tomorrow.

    The Trumpanzees had their pathetic shot across the bow last weekend. They’re sure we won’t have the stones to respond. We’ll just pay our lawyers to lose like in Broward County in 2000, politely ignoring the fact that this is about power, not just law.

    Our shot across the bow is tomorrow. Show up if you can for peaceful assembly in our tens of thousands across America, and keep posted. This won’t be over until January 20th. It’s too important to rely on the DNC and the Biden camp to do our job for us. And we willwin.


    Liked by 3 people

  6. Martin Pollard says:

    Unlike 2016, I’m not going to torture myself watching the returns after the polls close at 8:00 EST. I’m going to deliberately not look at the Book of Face or the Blue Bird, I will stay away from the political blogs that I normally follow, and I will spend my time doing something that gives me joy, like maybe watch some repeats of The Big Bang Theory or catch up on the first few episodes of the new season of Star Trek: Discovery. I may go to bed nervous, but I won’t be tearing my hair out in anguish.


  7. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    I wanted to vote this morning, line was around the block so I went to work. Work is a polling place, lot was almost full. I finish at 4PM, I have hours to wait on line after work.

    I told my Mom this when I called her this morning, she responded, “Just remember to pee before you get in line.”

    Liked by 8 people

  8. Sirius Lunacy says:

    I just finished voting. I am in a relatively small, mostly Republican district in a mostly Republican county. The local election officials look after the Republican districts. There was no line, I just walked in and voted and left. Hang in there Bastard (as I know you will) and get it done!

    Liked by 3 people

  9. moeman says:

    From Canada, good luck and be safe neighbours.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Sirius Lunacy says:

    This might help you feel a little better too.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Robert Mcneilly says:


    Liked by 1 person

  12. Another Kiwi says:

    My heartfelt best wishes to you all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sirius Lunacy says:

      My offer from 4 years ago still stands, I’ll trade you our Leader of the Free World for your Prime Minister. Even when Biden wins. You don’t even have to throw in any future draft picks.

      Liked by 2 people

    • tengrain says:

      Thank you Kiwi – We hope to someday travel and go to your magical land of sheep and smart politicians.



      Liked by 1 person

  13. dixiechiken says:

    I live in a small rural town of 1,200 people on the IL/IA border, along the Mississippi River. Mr. dixie & I voted this morning around 9 AM. Usually, we are the only ones in the place. This morning, not so much. Parking lot of our polling place was full so people were parking up & down the street. Steady stream of people coming and going. Every booth was taken when we walked in but by the time we got checked in & were handed our (paper- YAY!) ballots, we walked right up to our respective booths and voted. This election is going to be massive and historic. And we are going to WIN. Today, for the first time in four years, I am so proud.

    Thanks to Mock Paper Scissors for guiding us through these last four years. You reminded us to laugh, even through our outrage. Cheers to many more years, I hope. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  14. NorKid says:

    I live in Socialistisan (Europe) and have voted, all of my relatives that still have US citizenship have voted. Mostly in Washington (the state, duh), so it doesn’t count, much. They want to have watch parties tonight, nevermind Covid (yes, is still a thing) and no, results will not magically appear tonight (our time)…

    Thank you Tengrain (yea Seattle!) and all you Scissorheads, for helping me keep some sense of humor, dark may it be. See you on the other side.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. I gave up the weed in February, shortly after my other half and I shut ourselves off from the rest of humanity, making likely permanent dents in the couch in front of the teevee. I had a trivial celebration after a month, when I might have passed an unsophisticated pee test, and then four months, when I could pass a serious pee test. I missed the weed until about May, when I realized I couldn’t remember how good it felt to be high. I will likely return to Lucifer’s Lettuce when this pandemic shit is over…I dunno.

    Today, to keep my other half and me off the ceiling, I have several Bob Dylan albums cued up. I’ll save the AC/DC and Metallica for afterwards.


  16. glitterbug says:

    Baby sister just voted in-person in Dover,DE. 15 min line with a pair of Trumpanzee bitches trying to push her from behind. She said once inside, all was cool and the poll workers were very nice and had it all under control 🙂


  17. I voted absentee two weeks ago, and seeing the lines, I’m so glad I did.


  18. Redhand says:

    The best I can do is link to my post over at The Rectification of Names, where I pretty much shot my bolt on where we are now. Do give it a look, http://disq.us/p/2cy7x83, and sample Yastreblyansky wonderful blog, It’s one of the smartest places on the Internet.


  19. sos says:

    Dispatch from the front (Madison WI)…

    Just back from my shift at the polls. The Fightin’ 65th has ~2,762 eligible voters. As of 13:00 there were ~1,800 votes registered on the tabulator (Yutes kicked ass on processing absentee ballots). Eyeballing the remaining boxes! of un-processed absentee ballots, anticipating the late arriving ballots from election cental downtown and the in-person rush at 16:00. We have a pretty good chance of going over 100% turnout (Yay same day registration, the table was steadily busy).

    Things look good in deep blue near west-side Madison Wisconsin.

    Another shout out to the high school and college students, they. were. great.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Stony Pillow says:

    FWIW, here’s a 7:00 am summary of results (data courtesy WaPo)
    Biden has 224 sewed up. Assuming a blue shift in all states (nothing gets worse from here), Biden is leading and should win in the following states:

    Arizona (11)
    Maine (3)
    Nevada (6)
    Wisconsin (10)

    That brings Biden to 254. Here are the other contested states:

    Michigan (16) -4.9% with 22% left to count. Biden needs >61% of remaining vote
    Georgia (16) -2.2% with 8% left to count. Biden needs >63% of remaining vote
    North Carolina (15) -1.4% with 5% left to count. Biden needs >64% of remaining vote
    Pennsylvania (20) -11.5% with 22% left to count. Biden needs >75% of remaining vote
    Maine 2nd District -6.9% (No further information available)

    From reports in Michigan on where the uncounted ballots lie (only half of Detroit has been counted, delayed results in Flint and a lot of other urban areas), it looks like MI will be in the Biden column soon. That brings Biden to exactly 270, a tie. We can seal the deal with any one of the 4 remaining contests. In other words, a lot closer than pollsters indicated, but still basically good news. It looks like a win from here.

    We must show we will not tolerate anything less than counting every vote. Trump has already declared victory. If we let Brooks Brothers rioters or the Trumpanzees in Georgia, North Carolina and Pennsylvania decide these states, we will have no one else to blame for four more years of Trump but ourselves.

    Go to Protect the Results now, check out the Partners page, and sign up to make a stand, starting this afternoon.

    Don’t depend on the DNC or the Biden campaign to protect our vote. They’re riding on our backs. We will save this election.


  21. Stony Pillow says:

    Update 8:15am CST: They’ve started counting in Michigan again, and Biden is now ahead. So after all this, we’ve got an electoral college tie, with 3 states and one Maine district to go.

    We won. Let’s Protect the Results.


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