Well, here’s a headline that made me feel a little queasy:
UPS Finds Mystery Tucker Carlson Package
Many have looked, few have found it. But enough dick jokes! What the hell is it about?
A spokesman for UPS told The Daily Beast on Thursday that they had located a mysterious packaged that Fox News host Tucker Carlson suggested had been deliberately misplaced or intercepted because it contained “damning” materials on the Biden family. “After an extensive search, we have found the contents of the package and are arranging for its return,” the spokesman said. “UPS will always focus first on our customers, and will never stop working to solve issues and make things right.”
Scissorhead Roket gives us the back story:
Slate (it’s a fun read, thanks Roket):
…Carlson, alarmed as always, recounts how he instructed his producer in New York to send said documents to Los Angeles, where he was interviewing a source, former Hunter Biden business associate Tony Bobulinski. The producer dutifully sent the documents on Monday via “a large national carrier, a brand-name company,” Carlson informed his 5 million nightly Fox News viewers in his ticktock account of the package-sending. But the documents never arrived! They spoke to the company, the host says. The company looked for the package, he assures viewers. A worker at a sorting facility had apparently noticed it had opened in transit and the contents were missing, flagging the issue at 3:44 a.m., Carlson adds with conspiratorial relish. The documents were missing! There’s an election next week; the hunt was on! The company double-checked with employees who had handled the item. They searched the sorting facility. But nothing! “They went far and beyond, but they found nothing. Those documents have vanished, ” Carlson said in his typically startled tone. “As of tonight, the company has no idea and no working theory even about what happened to this trove of materials.”
I can tell you why, Tucker: They don’t call it Big Brown for nothing. On the rare occasion that they actually even try to find my building, hysterically they leave those, “Sorry I missed you” stickers on the door telling me that I either 1) Don’t live there or B) the address doesn’t exist, both of which is hard to square with them leaving the sticker.