Amply Be-chinned Mitch McConnell Is Turning Blue

I dunno what’s up with his hands (zombie apocalypse?) but Snopes says that this is not a doctored photo.

“Is it irresponsible to speculate? It would be irresponsible not to.” – Bacardi Lifetime Achievement Winner, Peggy Noonan, Wall St. Journal, April 2000.

Maybe he was taking some of Jim Bakker’s Miracle Silver, which I hear turns you blue, or maybe he was preemptively nipping at the ol’ fish tank cleaner (hydroxychloroquine) which I suppose might be in his terrarium where he sleeps at night?

Or maybe Satan is calling him home, Mission Accomplished-style for getting Judge Coathangers onto the SCOTUS.

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28 Responses to Amply Be-chinned Mitch McConnell Is Turning Blue

  1. Jeebus mary and st what's his name says:

    Must have been a big fucking cookie jar

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sos says:

    Appropriately revolting, just like Mitch!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. He also has bruising on one of his chins, upper lip to his nose area and yellowing under one eye and bruising over that eye on the brow … yeah, nothing to see here folks, just rotten and rotting from the inside out.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. osirisopto says:

    The blood of a virgin isn’t what it used to be.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. donnah says:

    Mitch is lookin’ pretty bad lately. His flabby, Silly Putty complexion is shinier than usual and his scary-as-fuck blood-bruised hands are an indicator of some type of blood thinner regimen. Can’t be heart issues, since he hasn’t got one. So maybe he’ll just get darker and shinier until he explodes like some alien in a horror movie. Hopefully before the Senate vote on Barrett, but not likely. Ol’Mitch would crawl out of his grave to make that happen.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Buttermilk Sky says:

    Mitch, please. No matter what Dr. Atlas told you, mercury does not cure syphilis.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Stony Pillow says:

    Fingers seemed okay, so cyanosis is out. Numerous small bandaids on outside of hands probably indicate one or more blown veins while trying to insert an IV needle in the hand (common for the old with bad veins⁰).

    So the question is, why does Mitch need an IV? And is that malady relevant to his reelection?

    Go for it, Amy.


  8. Dennis Cole says:

    Bruising like that often occurs when someone is taking some high-strength blood-thinners. My system doesn’t tolerate them, so I just take a baby aspirin twice a day, and I still get significant bruising from just the slightest bump.

    Either that, or Elaine is taking out her frustrations on him, knowing she’s on a sinking ship with no lifejackets or lifeboats left.


  9. osirisopto says:

    He’s mainlining Smurfs

    Liked by 1 person

  10. MDavis says:

    As long as we’re speculating, maybe it’s a case of unchecked COVID toe, either spread to his hands or a variation.
    Could be another reason he won’t visit the Whitey House, he doesn’t want to be tested and have confirmation of infection go public.


  11. Oneofthebobs says:

    Looks like a guy who can’t see his reflection in a mirror.


  12. osirisopto says:

    2000 Flushes is not a suppository.


  13. His inward rotting corruption is finally showing outwardly.


  14. The human suit has finally started it’s inevitable decay process

    Liked by 1 person

  15. spotthedog says:

    Looks like he met Rand Paul’s neighbor.


  16. roket says:

    I’m going with diabetes issues as a result of too much alcohol consumption; I had a diabetic older cousin whose hands and feet looked like this.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. StringOnAStick says:

    He had polio as a kid, and this looks like the bruising you’d see from a bad fall (hence the face damage) combined with blood thinners. The polio thing suggests he’s having balance/function issues that can show up in a patients senior years.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. julesmomcat says:

    The sumbitch is rotting, from the inside out.

    Liked by 1 person

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