Mike Pompeo, our end-times enthusiast Secretary of State, seeing his 2024 Goat Rodeo aspirations evaporate, has promised to release 2016 Goat Rodeo losing candidate Hillary Clinton’s emails (some of? All of? which ones?) before our long, national nightmare ends this November. You may ask yourself why, and the answer is that his clinically insane, drug-fueled boss, Prznint Stupid doesn’t seem to know what year it is, or who he is running against.
Also, Prznint Stupid is screaming into the void (well, Fox News and that’s close!) that his
Roy Cohn, er, strategic hire, AG Bill ‘low’ Barr has failed him, saying that Bill Barr will go down in history “as a very sad, sad situation” if he doesn’t prosecute the president’s enemies for crimes yet to be determined (and that failure may have something to do with the fact that Hillary has already been cleared). Id run-amok Prznint Stupid seems to think that the nation is as interested in his revenge as he is.
In not entirely unrelated news, Nancy Smash is keeping our failed political press’ attention on the mango-hued shitgibbon’s perilous mental health condition by announcing legislation that would commission a panel to evaluate any president’s fitness for office, and who, you know, would determine if the 25th Amendment needs to be invoked. Thinking ahead, our Nancy is. “He will face the judgment on the voters, but he shows the need for us to create a process for future presidents,” she said, without guile.