Noted cuck-fetishist/sex fiend for Jeebus, Jerry Falwell says he did not endorse Candidate Stupid in the 2016 Goat Rodeo because he was being blackmailed by Lord Damp Nut, you know to keep some photos of his wife from being published, hubba-hubba!
“Someone stole some pictures I took of my wife in the back yard. Topless. Big deal. OK?”
“And the hot pool boy, built personal trainer, sweaty gardener, horny pizza guy, Amazon delivery man with thighs like pistons were busy elsewhere and not in the picture,” he did not say. “Oops.”
“It was no quid pro quo. There was no me supporting Trump because of whatever Michael was doing.”
“Say, is it hot in here?,” he did not add.