(UPDATED) New Cool Kid: Microsoft

“Looks like you’re trying to become hip.”

Axios morning email thingie tells us that the people who brought us Clippy are definitely trying to buy TikTok:

President Trump gave Microsoft 45 days to negotiate an acquisition of TikTok, following a Sunday conversation with CEO Satya Nadella, Reuters scoops.

  • Why it matters: In the short run, 100 million U.S. users won’t lose access to the service. Trump had said Friday night that he planned to ban the Beijing-based app.

¡100 MILLION! That’s like ⅓ of the country, practically. “I don’t thank so, but I digest.”

Microsoft said in a statement disclosing the call with Trump:

Microsoft fully appreciates the importance of addressing the President’s concerns. It is committed to acquiring TikTok subject to a complete security review and providing proper economic benefits to the United States, including the United States Treasury.


OAKLAND, Calif. (Reuters) – Microsoft Corp’s potential acquisition of short-video app TikTok carries myriad risks, thrusting it into the politically fraught social media business and Sino-U.S. conflict amid increased scrutiny of big-tech companies.

But the deal could help Microsoft build on its $27 billion purchase of LinkedIn to become a bigger player in internet advertising now dominated by Facebook Inc and Alphabet Inc’s Google.

So if MS bought TikTok it would be to shore-up LinkedIn? Get the Yutes of Today to counter-balance the Olds?

TikTok has taken teenagers around the world by storm and emerged as a significant competitor to Facebook and Google’s YouTube. But like rivals, TikTok faces substantial new costs for content moderation as the spread of misinformation and allegations of political bias roil social media…

“Does Microsoft really want to own an app that breeds conspiracy theories in tweens?” said Hank Green, YouTube star and chief executive of educational media company Complexly. He said TikTok removes content to maintain “a certain feel”, and could face public challenges over such decisions more often under a bigger name such as Microsoft.

I do not see how this ends well. MS couldn’t make and sell a music player, I just don’t see them ever having any sort of successful non-business products.

UPDATE 1: “President Trump gave the go-ahead for Microsoft to pursue an acquisition of TikTok, in his first public comments about the popular Chinese-owned video app after he had threatened to ban it from the United States entirely,” the New York Times reports.

“[Prznint Stupid] added that the U.S. Treasury Department would need to receive a lot of money in return for the deal, without explaining how that would work.”

Prznint McGrifter wants a cut of the action.

This entry was posted in Microsoft, Our Failed Social Media, Social Media, Technology, TikTok. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to (UPDATED) New Cool Kid: Microsoft

  1. roket says:

    This also happens to be the best way to destroy TikTok in the US for the Yutes of today by putting grandpa in charge of access and content.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Here’s the deal…users, like the internet, route around obstructions pretty efficiently. Especially experienced users.
      Like Tik-Tok kids.
      Who all went looking for “How to VPN” last week…

      Liked by 3 people

  2. Microsoft only lives when it can force you to use their products. I have never been happier than when I canceled the annual Office payment, making it a final severance.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. MS couldn’t make and sell a music player

    I have no idea why After all it came in brown, and you could “squirt” songs to other Zune users!

    Time to post that evergreen classic:


  4. Dennis Cole says:

    What the hell gives tRump the authority to ban a foreign company from doing business here? I thought Congress was in charge of Commerce; how has it come to pass he can issue such an order, and everyone snaps to, or else they quiver in abject fright of what he might do or call for next?

    Such power MUST be wrested from any Tyrants, by any means possible, because the more we relinquish, the less we’ll have, and then even more power will be “granted” to the Mighty Lord and Emperor (for life), King tRump!


    • He’s laid the ground work for it being a “National Security” issue, because, well, Tik-Tok is kinda cavalier with user privacy (unlike, of course Facebook, which is the paragon of user protect……LOLOLOLOLOL couldn’t keep the straight face up)

      But mainly it’s the tangerine snowflake’s feefees that are hurt. Sarah Cooper is getting WAY under his skin. She should be very careful to avoid unmarked rental minivans…

      Just sayin….

      Liked by 4 people

  5. Infidel753 says:

    They’ll screw it up like Verizon did with Tumblr.


  6. “[Prznint Stupid] added that the U.S. Treasury Department would need to receive a lot of money in return for the deal, without explaining how that would work.”

    Don Fanucci: Young man, I hear you and your friends are stealing goods. But you don’t even send a dress to my house. No respect! You know I’ve got three daughters. This is my neighborhood. You and your friends should show me some respect. You should let me wet my beak a little. I hear you and your friends cleared $600 each. Give me $200 each, for your own protection. And I’ll forget the insult. You young punks have to learn to respect a man like me! Otherwise the cops will come to your house. And your family will be ruined. Of course, if I’m wrong about how much you stole, I’ll take a little less. And by less, I only mean – a hundred bucks less. Now don’t refuse me. Understand, paisan? Understand, paisan?… Tell your friends I don’t want a lot. Just enough to wet my beak. Don’t be afraid to tell them!


    • Dennis Cole says:

      And now there’s this:

      Trump Says He Wants a Piece of TikTok Deal
      Is he an honest broker? First, President Trump threatened to ban China-based TikTok from the U.S. over worries it was too close to the Beijing government. Then he gave his blessing to Microsoft to acquire the video-sharing app’s stateside operations, along with those in Canada, Australia and New Zealand. Now he’s saying the U.S. Treasury should get “key money” — an inducement normally paid to a landlord. Beijing reacted angrily, with an editorial in a state-run newspaper saying China would not accept the Trump administration’s “planned smash and grab,” and would respond accordingly.

      Sources: CNBC, Bloomberg


    • tengrain says:

      BDR –

      That’s EXACTLY the scene I was thinking about, but couldn’t remember: wet my beak a little.




Comments are closed.