‘I Am Not A Crook’ (He’s a crook)

And we now turn to Alabama (state motto: Where the Debris Meets The Sea) to see what’s going on with the Republican Senate Race, which pits former USAG Jefferson Beauregard ‘Stonewall’ Sessions III against former Auburn football coach Tommy Tuberville. Tuberville has a slight lead according to the polls, but that was before the news broke that he might be a grifter:

“President Trump’s favored Senate candidate in Alabama, Tommy Tuberville, is known for his career as a college football coach. But he also had a brief stint as co-owner of a hedge fund. It did not go well.

“A little more than a decade ago, after departing from Auburn University where he was head coach, Mr. Tuberville entered into a 50-50 partnership with a former Lehman Brothers broker named John David Stroud. Their ventures, which included TS Capital Management and TS Capital Partners — T for Tuberville and S for Stroud — turned out to be a financial fraud. Mr. Stroud was sentenced to 10 years in prison, and Mr. Tuberville was sued by investors, who accused him of fraud and violating his fiduciary duty to take care of their investments; he reached a private settlement in 2013.

Previously, as you might recall, Alabama Republicans nominated a child molester (Judge Roy Moore), and Sen. Doug Jones was elected, as it appears there is a line that the Alabamers (iss too a wurd) will not cross. It looks like this time Alabama Republicans are gonna nominate a crook. Or maybe a garden-variety idiot? Either way, not a good look, and one that should be easy to differentiate by a good campaign.

We’re not saying this is a done deal, but given that Prznint Stupid has gone all-in for Tuberville (takes one to know one, amirite) and continually has attacked Sessions, it seems likely. And if Tuberville comes pre-swamped as he appears to be, Sen. Doug Jones stands a chance.

We’ve said it before: Jones is the luckiest sommabitch in Alabama.


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7 Responses to ‘I Am Not A Crook’ (He’s a crook)

  1. Redhand says:

    former Auburn football coach Tommy Tuberville.

    The surname name originally struck me as outlandish — the place of tubers!? — though it apparently is of medieval origin and well respected.

    The bearer, not so much. A southern football coach and a fraudster from Lehman Brothers. What’s not to like?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oneofthebobs says:

    That;s not what TS stands for around here. But I guess “Tough Shit Capital Management” attracts a certain kind of “investor”.


  3. paul fredine says:

    tommy tuberville sounds like he should be a character on spongebob.

    Liked by 1 person

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