Trump: ‘Bring me the head of the mail room clerk!’

Seething Rage.
(image courtesy Scissorhead MonkeyFister)

According to Vanity Fair, Prznint Stupid’s 2020 Goat Rodeo campaign manager is a dead-man walking:

“Brad really shit the bed Saturday night. You have to remember, execution is 95% of presidential politics,” a Republican close to the White House told me over the weekend. Parscale committed a cascade of errors, from overhyping expected turnout to blaming the half-filled arena on protesters. Trump was so furious when he saw how thin the crowd was that he threatened to not go onstage, two sources briefed on the discussions told me. The sources said that Parscale, reading the tea leaves, is planning to step down. “He knows he can’t survive,” one source told me.

So if Parscale gets airlocked, who steps into the Titanic’s wheelhouse? (And there’s no mixed metaphor there!)

But one thing is for sure: The blame game has shifted into high gear. Trump insiders told me Trump was presented with five options of where to hold his rally. “The president chose Tulsa,” a source said. Sources also told me that if Parscale is forced out, he likely won’t be the only casualty of the rally fiasco. Trump is debating revoking his son-in-law Jared Kushner’s control over the campaign, sources said. As I previously reported, Trump has been frustrated with Kushner’s oversight of the campaign in light of polling that consistently shows Trump losing to Joe Biden.Another source of friction has been campaign spending and reports Trump has gotten that Parscale is making millions of dollars. “Did Jared allow this?” Trump asked advisers recently, according to a source. (Kushner declined to comment.)

Lord Damp Nut cannot You’re Fired the Fresh Prince of New Jersey, so he’s gonna go for Parscale. But it still doesn’t answer the question of who is gonna ride the Titanic all the way down.

One way to measure Kushner’s diminished influence will be found in whom Trump would choose to replace Parscale. Top candidates include 2016 veterans Miller, David Bossie, and Corey Lewandowski, all of whom Kushner successfully kept on the outer fringe of Trumpworld. “We can’t allow Jared’s stupid disagreements to get in the way,” Trump recently told advisers, according to a source briefed on the conversation.

A-Ha! So we have the 3 leading candidates! Let’s explore!

  • The Miller that they are referring to is NOT his pocket Nazi, it’s Jason Miller. He was there in the 2016 Goat Rodeo briefly as he was banging the staffers who were not his wife and got at least one of ’em pregnant.
  • David Bossie, as you might recall, was also a 2016 Goat Rodeo campaign assistant who got You’re Fired’ed when he was grifting the olds in the base (and didn’t give Lord Damp Nut the cream off the top).
  • And that leaves Corey Lewandowski, a man so dumb he probably couldn’t be the assistant manager at the local 2-screen cineplex.

Though of those three, Lewandowski may seem the frontrunner, well, VF has doubts:

Other Trump insiders are skeptical that Lewandowski would be put in charge of such a vast operation. “Corey was great when it was just Trump and an airplane. But let’s face it, he couldn’t manage a 7-Eleven,” a person close to Trump said. “The serious operation will be run by serious people.”

OK, so there’s our handicap, Scissorheads, and the betting window is open: Who is gonna be the next campaign manager?

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23 Responses to Trump: ‘Bring me the head of the mail room clerk!’

  1. donnah says:

    Trump cannot fail, he can only be failed. Or so he believes.


  2. 500 quatloos on Mugatu

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dennis Cole says:

      BDR – sometimes I feel like such a Social Outcast, or at the very least, deprived somewhat of the exposure others have. For instance, I have NO idea who the weirdo depicted is. Like Thanos, when I first began hearing about him. I still haven’t watched that movie, or many of the others that were considered to be “crucial,” when gathering ’round the water cooler was still a Thing.

      Or maybe I should be even prouder of my hermiting, since it’s a Yuge portion of What’s Kept Me Alive During the Pandemic.


  3. Jason Miller…isn’t he the Man-Baby with a full circle dirty sanchez?

    Liked by 2 people

  4. spotthedog says:

    The thing is up until he arrived in Tulsa Trump was happily feasting on the ego-boosting crap Parscale was feeding him. Of course there’s absolutely no chance Trump makes the connection between the low rally turnout and his own failure to act responsibly against the pandemic beginning back in January. But anyway I love, simply LOVE, to see the infighting, blaming, and internal chaos, with mere months to go. Who with any actual abilities and competence wants to jump in and be a part of that?

    Liked by 1 person

    • osirisopto says:

      Competence and ability? WTF are you talking about? There one and only one skill required to be the MHSG’s campaign manager and that’s ass-kissing.

      Whomsoever chooses to be the biggest ass-kisser is destined to be blamed for every-ficking-thing between the brown M&M’s and the empty TP roll.

      I wonder how many campaign managers will the MHSG go through between now and November? ‘Cause you know there’s no better way to win an election than to change tactics every few weeks.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Batman 54 says:

    “The serious operation will be run by serious people.”

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    I suspect it’ll be Huckabee-Sanders.

    I imagine Parscale is having one last go at lining his pockets before he’s dumped.


  7. Redhand says:

    The one absolutely sure thing about Trump is that whenever he fucks up big time, one of his minions is sure to take the fall. He’s the effing Queen of Hearts in Alice in Wonderland. It’s a wonder that anyone works for him.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Infidel753 says:

    Brad really shit the bed Saturday night. You have to remember, execution is 95% of presidential politics

    They’re going to execute Parscale? Well, it was bound to come to that eventually.

    Things must be really bad if Kushner is falling out of favor. He’s failed at everything else and that never stopped Trump from putting him in charge of things.

    As for a new campaign manager, how about Ivanka? She doesn’t know anything, but Trump’s kind of running low on options these days.


    • julesmomcat says:

      Yeah, but if SHE fails, the fallout of throwing his own daughter under the bus will be totally devastating to Suckface’s career. Couldn’t happen to a nicer turd.

      Liked by 1 person

    • MDavis says:

      He might be fighting with Ivanka. That would make it less appealing to LDN to have Jared out of town or overseas all the time.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Chris Papalia says:

    Tulsa really was a bad choice; he should have gone to Tulas with Eric.

    Liked by 4 people

  10. roket says:

    Although LDN may say he hires only the best people, I would seriously hate to work in the payroll dept. for the Executive Branch. Definitely too much turnover for your average payroll clerk.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Bruce388 says:

    Lord Dampnut threatened to bag the whole thing when he saw the empty seats? Man, that would have been so great….

    Liked by 2 people

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