Checkmate, Convention-Style

“A Strong Man for Troubled Times”

Guys, the RNC and North Carolina are fighting again!

Republican officials planning their party’s convention swapped their list of demands with North Carolina Governor Roy Cooper this week, ahead of the August event in Charlotte. On Monday, President Trump threatened to move his party’s convention from North Carolina if Cooper did not lift restrictions imposed in response to the coronavirus pandemic, to allow for “full attendance.” The event is expected to draw thousands of attendees amid the state’s recovery.

As we know, Lord Damp Nut wants to have his balls drop, er, balloon-drop convention with full attendance and no masks so he can bath in droplets, er, feel the love. Orange Julius has accused the Democratic governor of North Carolina of playing politics, you know, for wanting to keep his citizens safe during a pandemic. He’s asked the fascists to explain their plans:

Hours after North Carolina Governor Roy Cooper called on the Republican National Committee to outline how the party plans to conduct a safe national convention, the RNC sent a list of health and safety protocols for approval on Thursday. The memo, addressed to the Democratic governor, came with a hard deadline of June 3.

…which is kinda funny because the RNC and NC have a signed contract.

The letter from GOP officials makes no mention of wearing face masks, which is recommended by the Centers for Disease Control to help reduce the spread of the coronavirus, and which is a measure that the president does not follow. The RNC also promised “anti-bacterial gel will be widely available” in the arena and an “aggressive sanitizing protocol” will be in place for all public areas.  Party officials hired physician Dr. Jeffrey Runge as a senior adviser for convention planning, three weeks ago.

Perhaps they can get the voodoo priests and priestesses of POTUS Shield to bath the convention center in the blood of Jeebus, which as we all know is invincible to viruses!

Governor Cooper’s administration fired back with its own letter Friday, requesting Republican officials outline plans to test convention participants and indicate whether the president still intends to host “people together in a crowdlike” setting without social distancing or face coverings. The letter asked the RNC to clarify how many people would be in attendance, a detail not specified in the party’s initial memo.

Of course Red Hat cult members Ron DiSantis and Brian Kemp (governors of Floriduh and Georgeduh, respectively but not respectfully) have offered their humble states to be sacrificed to Lord Damp Nut’s fragile ego.

We’re gonna give NC the win: part of those contracts is that the participants must obey the laws and whatnot in that location. If the state has declared distancing and masking protocols must be obeyed or even the number of participants allowed to gather, then the RNC must follow them. NC can under a state-of-emergency rule even conclude to legally cancel the RNC; the RNC cannot decide that they would rather be in Floriduh because they don’t want to obey the rules.


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8 Responses to Checkmate, Convention-Style

  1. MDavis says:

    “anti-bacterial gel will be widely available”
    That’s nice, but kinda beside the point. Sort alike saying we have anti-vampire protection in place to curb the zombie outbreak.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. roket says:

    Has the RNC considered the Lake of the Ozarks?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. vonBeavis says:

    “…which is kinda funny because the RNC and NC have a signed contract”

    Since when has a signed contract ever been honored by the orange sphincter?


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