The Jokes Write Themselves

Jr. Mints and his emotional support cougar

What does it cost to have an emotional support cougar, one asks?

About $180K/year.

WASHINGTON ― President Donald Trump’s campaign is secretly paying one Trump son’s wife and another one’s girlfriend $180,000 a year each through the campaign manager’s private company, according to top Republicans with knowledge of the payments.

Kimberly Guilfoyle, the girlfriend of eldest son Donald Trump Jr., and Lara Trump, wife of middle son Eric Trump, are each receiving $15,000 a month, according to two GOP sources who are informal White House advisers and who spoke on condition of anonymity.

We long ago established the Emotional Support Cougar’s character, so it was just a matter of time before we learned the price.

And like the Oldest Profession, it might not be legal:

Critics of the arrangement, including Republicans, said the setup was designed to get around Federal Election Commission rules that require campaigns, political parties and other committees to disclose their spending in detail…

Stuart Stevens, a top aide to 2012 GOP nominee Mitt Romney’s campaign, was even more blunt: “That’s why Parscale has the job. He’s a money launderer, not a campaign manager.”

I assume she gets hazard pay too, and well, performance bonuses? Nice work if you can get it, and you can get it if you try.

This entry was posted in Junior Mints, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Trump Crime Family. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to The Jokes Write Themselves

  1. bluzdude says:

    I’m all for it. Every dollar they spend on her is a dollar not going to spread misinformation via ad buys and campaign rallies.

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  2. YellowDog says:

    $180,000 a year to be the girlfriend of that reject from a Matt Groening cartoon. Does it come with parking privileges?

    Like

  3. Diane says:

    They make a pair. Dominatrix mom and her bumbling little pet. They even have the same teeth.

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  4. MDavis says:

    Oh, I feel so stupid slow! It all makes sense now! LDN is literally hiring the best in the business.
    The vulgar part is that the job descriptions don’t match the job titles. This is the quote that made th light “bing!” on for me:
    “That’s why Parscale has the job. He’s a money launderer, not a campaign manager.”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. MDavis says:

    Oh, I feel so stupid slow! It all makes sense now! LDN is literally hiring the best in the business.
    The vulgar part is that the job descriptions don’t match the job titles. This is the quote that made the light “bing!” on for me:
    “That’s why Parscale has the job. He’s a money launderer, not a campaign manager.”

    Like

  6. Mary Ellen Sandahl says:

    I’m all for sex workers receiving fair market compensation. How does that 180K work out as an hourly rate? Has anyone checked rate standards with any of the US unions or advocacy groups? Since Jr. Mints is apparently still residing in the Big Apple, the appropriate group might well be (I am happy to report) PONY, Prostitutes of New York.
    Unexpected entertainment value tip: take a look at the Wikipedia article on sex workers’ unions worldwide. The list of groups by country is fascinating, and gives little peeks into national character too. Switzerland’s group is called Aspasie, after the mistress of Pericles of 5th C BC Athens! Those elitist fondue swizzlers!

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    • MDavis says:

      Not enough data to calculate.
      It’s around $20 per hour for 24 hours times 365 days, but it isn’t clear how much down time and how much on call time is included.

      Liked by 1 person

    • roket says:

      How does that 180K work out as an hourly rate? [DISCLAIMER: I have a background in HR] Hourly rates for salaried employees are figured thusly: Since salaried employees receive a check in the same amount either weekly, biweekly, bi-monthly or monthly, regardless of how many hours they actually work, it is assumed that on average a salaried employee works 40hrs/per wk for 52 weeks out of the year or 2,080 hrs per year. Therefore, If you divide the yearly salary by 2080 you get the hourly rate. Therefore, this particular whore is receiving $86.54/hour for her beautiful mind.

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      • MDavis says:

        I agree that this is the typical calculation, but these two are probably on call above and beyond the 40 hours oer week that is standard. That means that they have restrictions in letting their hair down in case they have to go make an emergency photo-op appearance or something.
        Of course, on call rates are typically lower than the standard work hours expected. And if the on call is exercised in this case it won’t – wait, thinks, yeah consider the people involved – if the on call option is exercised they probably get a bonus under the table, which wouldn’t show up in the salary quoted.

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