Advice From The First Shady

Ineptotism

Fashion Week! Who wore it better?

Hey guys, remember these inspiring words from Ivanka, our First Shady:

And with those immortal words (and some nonsense about taking advantage of the forced time off [from her busy job of Instagramming herself in serene white spaces] that she is catching up on Greek and Roman Mythology and learning to play the guitar —AND YOU CAN TOO, MOMS & LADIES!)— Ivanka got on a plane to fly to nearby New Jersey:

Ms. Trump herself has not followed the federal guidelines advising against discretionary travel, leaving Washington for another one of her family’s homes, even as she has publicly thanked people for self-quarantining. And effective April 1, the city of Washington issued a stay-at-home order for all residents unless they are performing essential activities.

Ms. Trump and her husband, Jared Kushner, who is also a senior White House adviser, traveled with their three children to the Trump National Golf Club Bedminster in New Jersey to celebrate the first night of Passover this month, according to two people with knowledge of their travel plans, even as seders across the country were canceled and families gathered remotely over apps like Zoom.

You think a little pandemic is going to keep Jar-Jar Vanka trapped inside their [checks notes] 8,200-square-foot D.C. house like some sort of common Manafort? There isn’t a prison cell that can contain her spirit! Run free, you’re an inspiration to us all, nepotism Barbie!

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15 Responses to Advice From The First Shady

  1. I’m honestly surprised she hasn’t shared her cake recipe for those folks stuck in the 10,000 car-long bread lines.

    (and they’re calling them bread lines on the national and local news…)

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Sirius Lunacy says:

    A serious parody from Chris Mann

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Astamari says:

    Meanwhile Covid-19 is absolutely raging exactly in the area where Bedminster is (but they’re invincible, I know).

    Like

  4. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    I would love to know how many hours it took her stylist to make her look as If she weren’t wearing makeup.

    Liked by 3 people

    • MDavis says:

      Since I wondered the same thing, I looked for an explainer.
      Makeup stylists might have the required products already gathered in their “no-makeup-look” kit, so that saves a ton of time over gathering up the (counts items) 12 products, including something to keep her hair in place, probably a spray, and five tools, not counting the hair comb and brush.
      The whole thing added up to 13 steps before the hair gets done. Each step didn’t seem like it would take very long but it would add up. Assuming all the tools and products were on hand, it probably took her at least an hour for the face and the hair would depend on whether she had to add the dark roots or just arranged what she had into that “no maintenance look” hair do.
      ..
      For those interested, here are the steps
      Exfoliate, sunscreen conceal spots, conceal dark circles, powder “T-zone (nose and forehead, I think?), eye shadow, contouring eye shadow, curl eyelashes, mascara – top lashes only, brush eyebrows with gel, blush, cheek highlighter, add lip tint – and then, of course, the hair.

      Liked by 1 person

    • tengrain says:

      B-4:

      I’d like to know how many hours it took her stylist to make her look as if she were human.

      Rgds,

      TG

      Liked by 1 person

  5. R White says:

    Who is it that she’s speaking to and expects adulation from? Looking at her twitter account, there are more people insulting and slamming her for her sanctimonious argle bargle. Like all of the other white trash trump fiends aka children, their social media platforms are not informative nor helpful, but cheap entertainment.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Dennis Cole says:

    “Working gurlz” can’t ply their trade while stuck inside, ya know. They gots to beat feets on the mean streets.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Buttermilk Sky says:

    She also helps herself to Elijah’s cup.

    Like

  8. Bruce388 says:

    There’s speculation that the grifters’ journey to Bedminster has something to do with them declaring it a residence. Maybe one of them wants to run for office? It’s been a few years since Christie stopped abusing the governor’s office.

    Like

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