Dr. Oz Looks Hungrily at Your Kids

“Schools are an appetizing opportunity.”

Oz has a strange idea of what school lunch means, I guess?

Only 2- or maybe 3-percent of your kids will die, which is totally cool with Dr. Oz.

I’d like to nominate Junior Mints and/or Ivanka, Dr. Oz. That cool with you?

(Hat tip: Crooks and Liars via Scissorhead D-Cap)

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15 Responses to Dr. Oz Looks Hungrily at Your Kids

  1. sos says:

    You’d think that Quack-Ghoul-Oz would like his “appetizing” children fresh and live, rather than all stale and dead.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. YellowDog says:

    I think the 2-3% he refers to is total population, not just kids. If the U.S. population is 330 million, that translates into 6.6 – 9.9 million dead, not counting the people with long-term health consequences. How are the kids going to feel when they bring home the virus that kills grandma and grandpa? I’m waiting for a Republican to talk about the solution to Social Security insolvency. You know that’s on some minds. If they can’t kill Social Security, kill the recipients.

    Liked by 3 people

    • I’m waiting for a Republican to talk about the solution to Social Security insolvency.

      Yeah, I’ve been waiting for someone to slip and mention that, whereupon all the greybeard ghouls in the punditocracy who were all in on the Simpson-Bowles “Catfood for Gramma” commision will solemnly stroke their chins and intone “Yes, while it may seem distatsteful it certainly would make economic sense; we can reduce the national debt ofr our children by making sure we deprive them of grandma!”

      I’ll lay 500 Quatloos on Megan “just call me Ayn with a $1200 Cuisinart” McArglebargle floating this idea first in the ‘respectable’ press. It is, after all a perfectly libertarian idea.

      After all they’re already saying out loud that we gotta kill all the olds to save the economy, so proclaiming it solves the SS insolvency lets them slap a veneer of ‘conservative fiscal responsiblity’ on their sociopathic greed.

      Liked by 3 people

  3. Pyed says:

    2% to 3% of elementary and high school students in America would only amount to about 2 to 3 million children.

    Very appetizing, indeed!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Dennis Cole says:

    Gotta do sumthin with them chilluns, can’t drag ’em off to work with you, (no company-sponsored daycare, thank you very much,) you can’t leave ’em at home alone, CPS will be right on your ass after a single neighbor’s complaint, you can’t send them to the local park all day, (like my folks did, when I was kid, every summer,) so the only choice left available will be be the schools, because the adults can’t resume working without the kids being all right.

    But what if the Teachers, or a large majority refuse to return to work without some guarantee of survival, and maybe toss a few more bucks in the kitty, and in my Health Plan, while you’re at it? Lower the Certifying Standards for teaching? How would THAT make you feel, as a parent, when you were probably previously griping how overpaid teachers are? They’re just glorified Babysitters is all, right? Practically anybody could do it, what’s so hard about it?
    It would be a pedophile’s paradise, among other less drastic outcomes, but it won’t end well, mark my words.

    Why such a low patience level? Economic uncertainty, sure, but it seems to be such a large part of our character – we want and expect things to be done NOW, instantly. I think it’s time to tap into the Strategic National Stockpile of Prozac & Xanax, and pipe that shit directly into the town or city water supply, where the misbehavin miscreants reside, in all the Possum Hollars in the land.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Underhill. My name's Underhill says:

    Welcome to the 77th annual Hunger Games! And may the odds be only 2-3%

    Liked by 1 person

  6. osirisopto says:

    A modest proposal updated for the 21st century.

    Liked by 6 people

  7. donnah says:

    I wonder if Oprah ever regrets giving Drs Oz and Phil a megaphone. They have both turned out to be complete and absolute assholes, making money hand over fist for giving the worst advice to the most stupid people. Both “Doctors” have angrily demanded a return to business as usual, which seems to be a stunning position for two doctors to take.

    Both of these docs promoted diet programs that were shams and both have TV shows to air their terrible advice. It pays to prey on the public.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Pingback: Regrets, Dr. Oz Has A Few | Mock Paper Scissors

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