Jump for Jeebus!

BuzzFeed News:

When he picked up the phone and heard it was a reporter on the line, Louisiana Pastor Tony Spell almost immediately began reciting the Declaration of Independence.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” Spell, the leader of Life Tabernacle Church in Baton Rouge told BuzzFeed News Thursday morning over the phone.

Which of course is true, that is in the Declaration. What is also true is that Declaration does not have the weight of law behind it. Do continue, Pastor

“My government is not my creator, my president is not my God,” continued Spell, who was charged with six misdemeanors last week for continuing to hold in-person services despite the coronavirus pandemic. “The president did not give me my rights to worship God and to assemble in church, and no socialist government or godless president can take that right away.”

While the majority of churches in the country have chosen to suspend services during the coronavirus outbreak — choosing, when they can, to host their congregations online via livestream — several churches around the country have continued to hold services. Many of them have big Easter Sunday plans, even as some church gatherings across the US have led to outbreaks among their congregants.

Let’s cut to the chase. The article is about how the Xristian Xrazies intend to break the shelter-in-place rules to gather in churches, because as that crazy, smug, Xristian lady earlier in the week put it, she’s “covered in the blood” of Jeebus, and the Jeebus forcefield will not allow her to become sick. Of course, it will allow her to become a vector to her community, so in addition to the blood of Jeebus, she’ll have the blood of her community on her hands. She doesn’t care.

As I have said since the start of this blog, I don’t have a faith, I don’t even have the faith that the next Kleenex will pop up and I’m usually right about that.  I don’t care if anyone else has a faith, just don’t foist your faith on me. And nothing could be more foisting their faith on all of us that these nuts all becoming infected and then spreading it to all of us.

Let ’em go to church. Just lock the doors after they are in there and don’t let them out until this thing is over.

Jeebus died for their sins, isn’t it time they paid him back?

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25 Responses to Jump for Jeebus!

  1. MDavis says:

    Pastor Tony Spell has made one comment that should go viral.
    Unless I mis-read, he called LDN a “godless president”.
    Spread the news, god is punishing the U.S. of A. for having a godless president! Don’t let any god-botherer who claims they are being oppressed because they can’t get away with the over-the-top crap that they try get away with calling him the best prez for Jeebus.
    Ah, forget it. It won’t happen. But I had my moment of hope.
    And this is still one for the “god hates trump” list.

    Liked by 1 person

    • FelineMama says:

      Besides all the other hypocrisies that bible humpers spout, the one about “He died for our sins”. I never understood this. How was his being crucified get rid of sin?!? Well, anyway, IT didn’t take.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Redhand says:

      At the risk of showing my ignorance, what/who is “LDN” and why is he/she/it being called a “godless president”? I Googled LDN and found nothing that even remotely fit.


  2. no socialist government or godless president can take that right away.

    Historically, Pastor, governments have been very MUCH able to take away any damn thing they want, until they piss off enough people that they fight back.

    Honestly, all the bleating about ‘Our Gawd-given rights’ is flowery bullshit. in the end

    They who have the Might rule. It has been this way for all of human history, and so long as humans remain humans, it’ll be this way to the end.

    Our national documents are full of flowery bullshit like this, but in then end, it’s just a Granfalloon that only holds so long as we all pretend that “rights” are inalienable and play the game by the rules we’ve set out. When people start breaking those rules, the Granfalloon starts to unravel.

    Also too, “godless president’?? I thought the Divine Word was that he was anointed by your gawd to rule.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Dennis Cole says:

    They may be testing their Faith, but it’s testing my Patience, and I’m not alone. I believe such people can be detained “indefinitely,” especially if they are repetitive violators. We’re going to have to set up some kind of “holding facilities” that not only aren’t called that, but lack the appearance thereof, because at some point we’re going to have to capture & corral these doofusses. Or at least the states with Brainiac Governors will, and CA’s Gov Newsom has been hinting lately how the tRumpians better treat HIM right, because CA is still the world’s 5th largest economy, we’re weathering the pandemic better than the parts of the country that didn’t call for shutting down and making everyone stay home, and the US needs us perhaps more than we need them.

    And what a dilemma, to have to suspend what most of these yahoos consider their most honored Rights, right up there at the #1 position, the right to assemble, and specifically, assemble to worship, because the health and safety of the remainder of us outweigh constitutional norms, and call for gov’t intervention & imposition.

    And it’s the one thing that could chomp on the Dim’s ass in the upcoming election, turning what should be a (D) landslide into another nasty defeat, if they insist on enforcing stay-home orders that include any and all worship services.


  4. donnah says:

    Tengrain, I love you! You said everything I’ve been saying and I mean it, too. These shits don’t care about the community, and the fact that they will defiantly and deliberately sabotage the safety of entire groups makes me livid.

    They’re like drunk drivers who crash into a crowd of innocent people and then stagger out of the car unharmed.


    • MDavis says:

      And then launch into a drunken tirade about all those stupid people who saw him (or her) coming and didn’t get out of the way. “They were impeding traffic, officer!”

      Liked by 1 person

  5. w3ski4me says:

    Since they won’t hold back for the Public Good, I have a suggestion. Meet them at the door leaving the church with Federal Officers mandating a 15-day quarantine and Ankle Monitors to be sure they comply.
    They may have a right to meet but they don’t have the right to even attempt to infect others, by their own stupidity. Make them pay for the monitoring also.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Diane says:

      And they need to be fined $1000.

      Liked by 1 person

      • w3ski4me says:

        I’m not sure the cost, but being assigned an ankle monitor carries a stiff fee by itself. Still, we can’t be too careful so fine them too.


      • MDavis says:

        I don’t think we have enough ankle monitors.
        There are a lot of lovely suites that have been set up along the border where they could be housed. You’re even allowed to drink from the toilets if you’re thirsty.
        All we’d have to do is process and release the current occupants according to current law, as opposed to the whims of the worst of ICE and Stephen Miller.

        Liked by 2 people

  6. roket says:

    That rapture thingy they’ve been waiting for. It’s heeeeere.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Redhand says:

    Religious zealotry coupled with social group madness is not unique to Murrica, of course, but I am always mortified to realize just how deep it runs in our “national psyche.” Consider that the first European settlers included the Pilgrims, seeking “religious freedom” (for themselves) and that the Country has been plagued (snark intended) by waves of revivalism throughout its history.

    There was the first “Great Awakening” in the early 18th Century followed by“The Second Great Awakening” in the late 18th and early 19th Centuries. These movements paved the way for the 20th Century’s Elmer Gantry’s and Scopes Monkey Trial.

    One would expect that the rationality of science would negate this nonsense, but there is an inherent gullibility and stupidity in the human race that will always make it vulnerable to cult leaders. And fleecing the rubes is good business if you have the stomach for it. Consider Robert Jeffress.

    An unholy alliance with Trump, the biggest conman of them all, was inevitable.

    I remember seeing the movie “Inherit the Wind” as a boy and thinking “How could anybody believe in this bible-thumping bullshit” and 😉 “Thank God we have evolved beyond this madness.”

    Six decades later I realize that religious extremism is like crime. It will never go away, and the fight against it is “eternal.” (Pun intended). I don’t get angry at these assholes, just weary and disgusted.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Redhand says:

      Well, I should add that I loathe Jeffress and all his works, among many religious conmen and women.


  8. Pyed says:

    I think it’s time for some of that old time religion.

    I mean, just lock them up in prison like the old Romans did to their saints and apostles. Nothing too fancy, mind you, just one big-assed cage to be stuffed with one leader and his flock. Gonna be quite a squeeze for some of them mega god-bothering outfits.

    ( If it’s good for Messican children, then it’s good enough for me! )

    Liked by 2 people

  9. laura says:

    Hey, if people really, really want to join the heavenly host, I say let them go join the choir eternal. Shrug off this mortal coil and via con dios!


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