News From LA

Louisiana is experiencing the fastest growth of new coronavirus cases in the world.

LA had over 2,300 cases as of yesterday, and New Orleans alone had 997—higher than the total case count in all but 13 states. Hospitals are already overwhelmed, and critical supplies are running low. And as we know, Lord Damp Nut is not invoking the Defense Production Act because someone, somewhere needs to make a buck off of it. We have our suspicions:

(H/T: Scissorhead Purplehead)

Prepare yourselves for a shock, Gentle Readers: medical experts say that Mardis Gras accelerated the spread. Mayor LaToya Cantrell says that she would have cancelled the celebration if Lord Damp Nut had warned them.

Claiming that there were no “red flags” in February about Mardi Gras, she added: “In hindsight, if we were given clear direction, we would not have had Mardi Gras, and I would have been the leader to cancel it.”

Uh-huh. Amazed she was not struck with lightning for that one. New Orleans makes a lot of money off of Mardi Gras tourism. Cantrell did cancel St. Patrick’s Day celebrations there, but no one paid attention.

Gov. John Bel Edwards (D-LA) has issued a stay-at-home order, and requested a federal emergency declaration. In that request, Edwards said that projected hospitalization will exceed Louisiana’s capacity by April 4.

So, of course some Red Hat preacher is ordering his flock to defy isolation and come to Jeebus:

“The virus, we believe, is politically motivated,” Tony Spell said. “We hold our religious rights dear and we are going to assemble no matter what someone says.”

So pretty much everything in the Crazee State of Louisiana is running per usual.


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7 Responses to News From LA

  1. Redhand says:

    What Trump is doing is criminal in every sense of the word. He would rather that people die than admit he was wrong and try, as president, to help them in a national crisis. This will go down as one of the darkest chapters in our entire history.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. julesmomcat says:

    So, when Spell’s flock succumbs to CORVID-19, he will say Jeebus “called them home.” May he lead them there.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Andy Syrett says:

    My adopted state of SC was once described as “too small to be a republic but too big to be an insane asylum.” The state of my birth seems to fit.


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