News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

POTUS Shield lays hands on The Chosen One

Hey kids, let’s listen in while Lord Damp Nut tells the Xristian Xrazies (he’s on a call to Tony Perkin’s SPLU-designated hate group, the Family Research Council)  to pray for him for a victory on November 3rd:

Got that? He barely asks them to pray for the people suffering from the virus, and then he reminds them that they owe him, bigly. He asks them to pray for him to win in 2020.

Here’s a partial transcript:

I want to thank you all for praying for our country and for those who are sick. You do such an incredible job. You’re very inspirational people. And I’m with you all the way. You know that. You see what we’ve done for right to life and all of the things that we’ve been working so hard together. I’ve been working with many of the people on the call. Many, many of the people. We’ve had tremendous support. But we are going to get over this.

We have a very, very big election coming up, especially if you’re evangelical—if you’re evangelical, if you’re Christian, if you’re, frankly, almost any faith. And I guess probably you could go any faith, Tony, if you think about it. But we have a very important election coming up. We have people on the other side that are against a lot of the things we all stand for. And you know one of the things I’m most proud of is knocking out the Johnson Amendment, where the people that we most respect, namely the people on this line, you weren’t able to speak your will, speak what you thought, speak about where you stand politically, what’s good for the church, what’s good for all of the things that we represent. And we knocked out the Johnson Amendment. They would have held you very horribly responsible if they wanted to, and they did in some cases. What they did to the people that we want to hear from, and people that your people want to hear from, so importantly. So, we’re able to do that and many other things. And so, it’s just going to be, it’s a big date, Nov. 3—that’s going to be one of the biggest dates in the history of religion, as far as I’m concerned. So, I want you to be, we have to keep aware of that, ‘cause as we fight this, people are forgetting about anything else. You turn on the news, and all you see is the coronavirus or whatever—some people call it the Chinese virus, they call it a lot of different things—but the virus, that’s all you see. You don’t see anything else.

So people are forgetting we have the most important election that we’ve had, and I guess when I say the 2016 election, perhaps that’ll always be very special for all of us, but without this one, without a victory here, so much of that can disappear.

He’s a sociopath, but seriously, what kind of sanctimonious grifters are they that would listen to this BS and not boo him off the call?

This entry was posted in 2020 Goat Rodeo, Family Values, Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, Xristian Xraxies. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. julesmomcat says:

    By Dawg, he really knows how to play the fumdukkers!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. laura says:

    That Manny Peeples is working his keister off on the big things too!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. laura says:

    Also, tax the pee-wadding out of the churches and cut off the public funding of their schools. And make them stop fucking the kids and/or covering up for kid fuckers.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. My mother told me 58 years ago if I haven’t anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Still following her advice .

    As a cartoonist I need not speak. (Read my mind thought balloons).

    Liked by 2 people

  5. E.A. Blair says:

    I’ve watched two things recently that remind me of Trump – one is the fourth season of Babylon 5, and the mad Centauri emperor Cartagia who thought he was a god, and the History Channel re-ran a documentary titled Caligula: 1400 Days Of Terror. While watching the documentary, I couldn’t stop thinking “…Trump…Trump…”.

    Liked by 2 people

    • MDavis says:

      I thought I had a link for Babylon 5, but, no, it’s Battlestar Galactica. Never really got into either one, so … Oh, what the heck, it’s something I found on a blog that I nearly wept when it was shut down and erased by the owner…. and I liked it even though I didn’t really have the references.

      Like

    • MDavis says:

      BTW, E.A. Blair, thanks for another video to queue up for our isolation period. I’ll be watching it. The wave front hasn’t hit us yet (maybe) but it’s close so I’ve been prepping. including collecting stuff like this.
      I remember someone posing the question (was it here? Don’t remember) which Roman emperor does Lord Damp Nut most resemble. I believe I let my “hope” out for a stroll and picked the one with the shortest reign, but Caligula was the more realistic choice.

      Like

  6. h1n1thislittlepiggy says:

    All those hands and not one shiv?

    Like

  7. buckobear says:

    Get the nails and the 4X4s…… let’s see what happes to donald on easter.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. paul fredine says:

    ‘because you owe me’ he didn’t say.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. roket says:

    At the risk of pissing off Jerry Seinfield, his diatribes are all about nothing. All of it is pure fantasy. And I’ll be damned if Possum Holler doesn’t eat it up with a spoon. Boo.

    Like

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