COVID-19 Be Gone, Please

Dona;d Trump, Shut up

I fear this might be a rambling post. A thousand apologies.

Walking today in Los Angeles, there was, I kid you not, a pedestrian bottleneck of people trying to cross the street and socially distance ourselves from each other. During a walk today, a woman approached. I screamed, “Stay the fuck away from me. Do not come any closer. Talk to me from where you are!”

Obviously, she turned and ran in the other direction. I would’ve. Was my reaction rational? Fuck no. I am TERRIFIED—we are all TERRIFIED. Having an unhinged Goldfish hued Hitler at the helm doesn’t help.

He keeps being covered in real-time, when he shouldn’t be. The MSM, in my very humble – fuck that, in my very real opinion, must cover him responsibly. That means, providing context and fact checking him, and then running a segment or spinning a yarn for a news outlet. We cannot afford to be terrorized by his egregious lies RIGHT NOW, can we? We never signed up for him, those of us who didn’t vote for him, but if he wasn’t such a malignant narcissist, perhaps he might have a shred of decency or humanity. I’m not a schmuck, I know he doesn’t.

I don’t know about you, but I’m losing my shit. Financially, emotionally and ways I’ve yet to discover. I checked my pantry today and realized that I’ve amassed 7 bags of various chips. Why? I don’t know. I don’t eat chips, not really. I’m a grazer, so I like snack-y foods. Yeah, it’s a snack-y food, but I’m hoarding tortilla and potato chips, and for the life of me, I cannot figure out why.

Last week, I wrote a post about people with Graves’ being at risk for Coronavirus right here on MPS. I saved it to draft and just republished it here.  I took it down because I got so much backlash from others with Graves’, accusing me of fear mongering. I wasn’t trying to scare anyone. Rather, I wanted to provide information about Graves’ as it pertains to being immunocompromised. I thought I was being smart. Whether I was or not, removing the post was me slipping backwards, into thinking that I was bad and wrong and causing harm. If I’m being SUPER honest with myself, it’s my unresolved guilt and shame for getting Graves’. I won’t take it down again, regardless of the outcome. I just know that I want as much real information as possible. Don’t we all?

I think we need dependable facts from scientists, epidemiologist’s, virologists, disease hunters, and doctors who know what they’re doing. Fingers crossed they do. We deserve to be informed, even if it scares the shit out of us.

Every day there’s a new death, a new rash of diagnoses and Goldfish pie hole telling ua to take meds that will kill them. In the next breath, he’s sacrificing OUR PARENTS, senior citizens. NOBODY IS DISPOSABLE.

Hey, Trump’s a huge fan of eugenics. He’s got immigrants in cages and a mouth full of white supremacist dog whistles to prove it, such as his latest, calling Coronavirus, Chinese virus. The WH defended him for saying it.

Why are lawmakers and other officials so damn scared of what that bloviating insecure twatsicle will tweet about them? I don’t get. If he called me a used tampon, or short fat Jew, I wouldn’t care.

I hear a news alert and my body jumps. Medical PTSD is no longer relegated to forthcoming medical appointments, it informs my days. Aren’t we all scared? Don’t we need facts so we can make the best decisions for ourselves and the people we love?

my pal trigger, medical PTSD

Speaking of distractions, which I wasn’t, I’ve been watching, Tiger King on Netflix. “Doctor Bhagavan “Doc” Antle” talks about loving big cats in the creepiest most sexual way. The whole thing is deeply disturbing and worth watching. I think between the entire cast, maybe they have one set of teeth.

Also, if you haven’t been watching, Love After Lock-up,” it’s the worst kind of television. I can’t look away. Watch and let me know what you think.

My psychiatrist, Dr. H sent me this link to help me better manage my fear and medical PTSD. To be clear, it did not help, but I am glad he sent it. When I’m calm enough to research the information, it’s quite informative and continuously updated.

What’s helping you get through this? How are you coping with isolation, the onslaught of news, and how are you managing emotionally and financially?

Thanks for letting me vent/rant/ramble, etc…, Scissorheads, you are truly spectacular and I am grateful for all of you.

Be safe,


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21 Responses to COVID-19 Be Gone, Please

  1. I like reading. I hear my mind’s voice when reading. It personalizes the story. I have an MP3 with song after song I like. I indulge my nerd side and read chess books and play chess on an old radio shack chess game I bought when dinosaurs still roamed the earth. I draw cartoons. I write a blog. When trump comes on TV I put it on mute. My wife and I are in voluntary, self imposed isolation and since we are introverts we aren’t enduring any real life style change. We have always avoided crowds and other people. Binge on a Netflix series. Take naps.
    Go for walks, get fresh air, exercise.
    We are all going through this. You are not alone. Hang in there.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. from a eugenics standpoint, he needs to be fed into a woodchipper. Although I guess since he has already spawned, it’s probably too late, but he is then wasted and not worth more resources, so shoot him into the sun. Total Ark B material.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. osirisopto says:

    This is the worst crisis I’ve ever seen but I became accustomed to living through crisis after crisis after crisis back in junior high school. On top of that I’ve been a self employed creative my entire life.

    My wife suffer from medical PTSD as well. She’s begun to melt down due to the stress, both financial and situational and on top of those we have a face-to-face with a new doctor tomorrow.

    As is said crisis after crisis after crisis is the norm for me.

    The single most important thing we can do is to not let the crisis consume us, fill our awareness. Yes this is a terrible situation, yes it is an existential threat, but remember that no matter what we will come out on the other side. The reality we find on that day may be utter different, our lives will have irrevocably changed but we will be there and what we need to do today is take action to influence the creation of that new reality to the best of our ability.

    Breathe deep, again. Remember that the crisis is not you it is an experience that we must go through. In the end we will find ourselves having passed through this challenge, and faced with the new challenge of coping with our new reality.

    To quote Frank Herbert:
    “I must not fear.
    Fear is the mind-killer.
    Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
    I will face my fear.
    I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
    And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
    Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

    We will remain because we’re doing the hard things with determination and courage.

    And most important we all must remember that none of us are alone.


    Liked by 3 people

    • Wise words, friend, very wise.

      I get survival mode, especially when it’s chronic or constant, however one wishes to see it. Moving from crisis to crisis is unbelievably challenging, but it becomes too normal.

      I am SO SORRY about your wife’s medical PTSD. She must be in hell right now, AND she has to see a new doctor. Please let me know how it goes today. My psychiatrist helped me come up with a tool that helps when I have to see a doctor, there are certain songs that make me feel grounded. He suggested listening to them. I did. Even though I disassociated, he explained that I did it on my terms. I don’t know if that will help. I still don’t know if it helps me. It surely isn’t helping now, nothing is.

      We are all in this together. Thanks for taking the time to share more about you and your story with me. Please let me know how it goes.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hiya,

      How did it go at the doctor today? How’s your wife holding up? If you need or want to chat or she does, she can bend my ear any time. I know how terrifying medical PTSD is. If you need to talk, I’m here. Here’s my email, katiegirl(at)gmail(dot)com.

      You’ve been in my thoughts all day so I wanted to check in.

      Wishing you both the best,


  4. Rocky D. says:

    We are introverts as well & the isolation may be a bit much at times but we’re using the time to “do stuff” that otherwise gets tossed to the side. Every once in awhile the fear twists my gut and I get very angry (instantaneous rage) when I hear how unbelievably stupid some people are being. But this has been happening since 2016 so it’s not really new. We read a lot, paper books and audio, fill our awareness with stories–any kind. Deep breathing works for me as well.

    Please take good care & be strong. And scream at the fools if required. Nothing else seems to get through their empty skulls. We’d hate for you to fall off the edge. You’re one of our favorite bloggers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Doing stuff that needs to be done is a great idea. I feel you on the instant rage. Man, people are being so stupid. A few days ago (I have no sense of time), Los angeles beaches were filled with people. I couldn’t believe it.

      I love reading vintage cookbooks and I’m reading some very cool books right now. I’m going to give audio stories a try, too. I’ll work on deep breathing.

      You be safe and take care of yourself.

      Thank you for your kindness and taking the time to share your thoughts.


      • MDavis says:

        I could share some recipes from Mom’s cookbook, like if you want a recipe for Squirrel Fricasee… Or maybe WWII rationing suggestions. But maybe you have older cookbooks in mind.


  5. c u n d gulag says:

    I loved your Graves Disease post because I learned a lot about a disease I had heard of, but knew nothing about!
    Imo – you should never have taken it down!


    • Thank you for saying as much, I really appreciate it. YOU ARE RIGHT, I SHOULDN’T HAVE TAKEN IT DOWN. I am glad I republished it. Thank you so much for wanting to learn about it!!! Be safe.


  6. MDavis says:

    I’m on down time for the rest of today – I think I’ll spend a coupla hours killing pixels (translation: playing Skyrim for about half an hour) and watching Youtubes of people making quilts. That should decompress me enough to go get some real rest.
    Another thing I’m doing is shadowing MPS, gotta keep up here.
    Glad to hear from you, BTW.


  7. Zee says:

    I completely get the rage and have been searching all over the internet for definitive answers. Google is not being my friend. Anyway, I came across a medical journal, but couldn’t make head or tail of it, with not being medically trained n all, but decided to go down the rabbit hole anyway and on Google Scholar, came across this link://
    It’s an interesting article, but still didn’t answer any questions until I got near the bottom of the page, and found this little paragraph;

    “…. Grave’s disease (hyperthyroidism) patients show elements of both immunodeficiency and autoimmunity, there is no evidence that this occurs in Hashimoto’s patients”

    Anyway, back on the search and hopefully will find something. Gotta believe someone somewhere cares about our struggle. Stay safe.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Zee, you are the bees knees. I can’t thank you enough for all of this information and time you’ve spent. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

      With GD, I think I know what you’re talking about, primary immunodeficiency, well, immunodeficiency? I’ve been researching both for a while and I’m finally seeing some research that suggests GD might be an immunodeficiency. If that’s the case, I think, and I don’t have all the facts yet, that immunodeficiency is the mother board of all autoimmune diseases. Again, not sure about this at all. Primary immunodeficiency is its own disease.

      Anything you find, I’d love to see links and info. Please feel free to email me katiegirl(at)gmail(dot)com. You have GD, correct?

      You’re the best. You stay safe and careful, please. .


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