News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Appropriately named, blue-check marked Jeremy Boreing, who modestly tells us that he is “The Daily Co-Founder, COO, and god-king of @realDailyWire, host of Backstage, Exec. Producer of the Ben Shapiro, Andrew Klavan and Michael Knowles shows,” gives us his rational concerns about the latest advice for social distancing in the age of the COVID-19 pandemic:

As the poet Robert Browning once, um, poeted (is too a vurb!), A man’s reach should exceed his grasp/Or what’s a Heaven for?

Just guessing that also beyond ol’ Boreing’s reach is the Spaghetti Os and the Cap’n Crunch. White GOP dudes, I swear to blog…

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5 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    He can always buy a 50lb bag of Incel Chow.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. w3ski4me says:

    Guys who can’t cook for themselves are a pet peeve of mine. How do they Effing exist? I learned to cook in grade school because I was hungry and Mom was busy. OK, they don’t need to plan and make a 12-course dinner but get real people. Or just die of starvation. Ijidiots.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. paul fredine says:

    yeah, ’cause it takes a genius to use a can opener and a microwave. maybe he needs someone to chew his food for him, too/also. poor thing, he’s just now finding it’s soooo hard to be an adult. needs a diaper change.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Dennis Cole says:

    Apparently, all his cookbooks got tossed on the book-burning pile, and someone, somehow applied Parental Controls to his YouTube app, so he’s been blocked from even LEARNING how to cook. And since we’re on the subject of criminal behavior related to the outbreak, it seems to me that anyone in a position of power who keeps insisting to the public they’re in no real danger ought to be charged with something. I know, negligence and just plain dumb-fuckery aren’t considered crimes, but at some point they ought to be.

    Liked by 3 people

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