News That Will Drive You to Drink

Mike and Mother Pence Cosplay the Cowboy and the Lady Bug — HAWT!

As God is my waitress, I thought this was a joke:

…and then this:

…which the Verge says is a lie:

….but when I saw that Lord Damp Nut was shaking hands with the CEOs of the big Pharmacy companies…

…I realized it was all just a first read-thru of a SNL skit.

Here’s the bonus I know all you mugs want:

This entry was posted in 4th Reich, Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, Mike Pence, the Walking Termite Buffet, Pandemics. Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to News That Will Drive You to Drink

  1. quakerinabasement says:

    Liked by 2 people

  2. YellowDog says:

    Nothing better than Otis with Booker T. and the M.G.’s.

    Like

  3. roket says:

    Shorter Dence: “My heart goes out to those corporations, who are also people too, that are sacrificing one or two parking spots in their empty parking lots. Hey, where’d everybody go?”

    Like

  4. The King In Yellow says:

    Look at all the bobbleheads behind Trump as he denies the conservative sacred cow of Personal Responsibility. First the woman starts nodding. Then it spreads to the others like a the mating display of a flock of flamingos.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. donnah says:

    I watched, I gagged, I turned it off. Trump lied, Fauci kowtowed, Pence kissed Trump’s ass, and the CEO’s patted each other on the back and fucking shook hands.

    And the Stock Market shot up 2000 points, because hey, it’s okay now because the government bought cheap oil and pumped a trillion bucks into the economy.

    I have no idea what happens next.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Osirisopto says:

      Is it time to take away their guns yet?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Infidel753 says:

        We’ll soon be able to take their guns from their cold, dead hands — but it will be better to just leave them since they’ll be covered in coronaviruses.

        Liked by 1 person

      • MDavis says:

        By that time there might be sanitizing products back on the shelves, so there might still be opportunity there. Hey, the 1% are going to take advantage of stock opportunities.

        Like

    • Diane says:

      I had a stock market website open and watched as this BS started. Before trump started speaking the market was approx. 950 pts. About 3 or 4 sentences in it dropped 200 pts. and stayed there until the female doctor started talking and it shot up 200 pts. It kept going up as long as trump shut the hell up. Of course, they timed this so the markets would close in positive territory.

      Like

  6. Dennis Cole says:

    “Now we all know that even the best people, the brightest people, we all make mistakes, right? I mean none of us are perfect, right? And even though I hired the best and the brightest people, well……..they made some mistakes, all right? Which means I’m right, right? About people making mistakes. Which only goes to prove how right I am all of the time. And the people who have left my administration? They just couldn’t keep up, is all, we’re moving faster and doing more than any other administration in American history, look at the Stock Market, they know I’m doing a terrific job, and all my best people are as well, they trust us, and soon the Market will go higher than ever before in the history of the United States, we’re right on track to a full recovery. Next question -“

    Like

  7. julesmomcat says:

    Trump: “No, I don’t take responsibility at all.” When has he EVER???

    Liked by 2 people

    • Chris Papalia says:

      Well, he did name one of his earlier mistakes Junior, so there’s that.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Redhand says:

      When has he EVER???

      The answer is never. An adult takes responsibility. A child says “The dog ate my homework.” His babble about “inheriting regulations” was equivalent to that.

      What a useless piece of shit he is!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. MDavis says:

    I checked with personnel at work today, where I heard there was an address today where the lady with the excellent scarf said that most flu cases will be just flu, like only one per cent would be COVID-19 and then trump declared the national emergency. So that was totally logical and normal. Right?

    Like

  9. Chris Papalia says:

    The Australian Minister of Home Affairs has is being treated in a Queensland hospital after coming down with symptoms of Coronavirus following his return from a trip to Washington where he met with William Barr and Ivanka Trump.
    Neither Ivanka nor Billy are currently in self isolation following this news, but I’m sure everything’s fine.
    Really. Quite sure.

    Like

  10. Rich says:

    Ah! Anthony Fauci. This anecdote dates me, but so what. There I was in a nearly empty medical school lecture hall amphitheater while Anthony Fauci and Robert Gallo, both guests, debated, as only two titanic egos can, for credit discovering the causative agent in an major emerging infectious disease caused by a virus. The heavy hitters from our medical school sat mum as the silence both betrayed their ignorance to the subject and their keen interest in a topic which would shortened their closeted lives and those of not so few of their friends. Gallo and Fauci argued for credit that their virus HTLV-III was the causative agent of AIDS, then an emerging viral threat. Of course, they were wrong not only because the right guy, Luc Montagnier then of the Pasteur Institute, was missing from the lecture hall. More so, Montagnier’s LAV virus was indeed The HIV virus, not HTLV-III.
    Of course, the intrigue and sordid nature of Gallos, NIHs and the Reagan Admins efforts to take credit for Montagniers discovery is the stuff of legends and a quite a few billion dollars.
    As if the anecdote doesn’t already approach the absurd, Luc Montagnier has been under the employ of a major Shanghai university for the past several years

    Liked by 2 people

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