News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

“You assholes do know you’re not wearing gloves, right?”

Our Lady of Bountiful Pasta and Good Shoe Wear, Cindy Jacobs is on the Coronavirus case, peeps! Let’s listen to her nasal braying in Jeebus’ Name:

Well, that’ll learn it good! It won’t be long before this thing is over because Cindy has declared it “illegal,” and you know how them Xristians hate them illegals? So we got that going for us, too. Also.

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9 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. Chris Papalia says:

    So, when it doesn’t in fact cease world-wide, will she take it as a hint that all she is doing is shouting into the silence, or will she just come up with some new excuse? Like the ongoing pandemic is Gawd’s punishment for the wicked?

    Liked by 3 people

    • Osirisopto says:

      She is not just shouting into the void.

      She’s fleecing her flock like there’s no tomorrow.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Chris Papalia says:

        Well better that the money be all in the hands of one unscrupulous con-artist than thousands of idiotic believers; she is greedy and just in it for herself, and therefore is going to donate less of he ill-gotten wealth to dangerous political bodies than those thousands of zealots would have.

        Like

    • Bruce388 says:

      When it doesn’t work she’ll blame gays and Democrats.

      Like

  2. Steve-O says:

    Typically, I don’t wish ill on anyone (bullshit). But this one, I wish the virus upon her.
    Let her explain that.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. paul fredine says:

    i guess if she declares it ‘illegal’ it’s proof that ‘the wall’ will surely help.

    Like

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