News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

The last time Y’all Qaeda tried to rally against the ‘mos had a few glitches…

You guys, mark your calendars, it’s time for the annual Ex-Gays March!

Founder Jeffrey McCall is excited that this upcoming FM will have Lou Engle as a partner. “We honor Lou Engle and all he has accomplished in the body of Christ. For years he has been a guiding light standing up for truth, righteousness, and justice. It is so nice to have a general of God boldly step forward to partner with us!”

Freedom March is not about protesting but more about these individuals being able to share their freedom stories. The event has testimonies, worship, and then the actual march. The march begins as they line up behind a banner and walk the streets proclaiming Jesus Christ is Lord.

One Boston speaker, Luis Ruiz, survived the pulse Nightclub shooting. He states, “Don’t spend all your time searching for freedom and then make freedom your God. Spend time with Jesus, and in Him you will find freedom.”

And outside of Him, you find thighs like pistons that can pump all night. But I’m only guessing.

Let’s look back, fondly as the ex-gays do Hi-Hip-Hooray for Ex-Gays!

Stirring, no?

Jeffrey states, “So many people assume that we are trying not to be gay and suppressing ourselves. In reality, we are happy, fun, joyful, and keeping our eyes on the prize. I like to think eternal and not just about what I want right now. Denying yourself has been much forgotten in the Christian world. People want to do what they want and just slip a little Jesus in. Jesus asked us to be hot or cold. We want to be all in for Jesus and love people even if they do not have the same beliefs as we do.”

They look so happy. Like Linda Harvey finding-a-sex-toy-under-her-son’s-bed kinda happy.

This entry was posted in Electrocute-the-Gay-Kids Therapy, Homophobia, The Closet of Lindsey Graham, Theocrats. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. Honestly I can’t muster a whole lotta…anything…for these saps. Brainwashed into denying to themselves who they are is just sad; brainwashed into trying to make others like them, is worse.

    Mocking them feels mean somehow.

    Mocking the evil monsters humans (but I repeat myself) who make them feel that way seems ineffectual compared to, say, feeding them to a woodchipper.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. julesmomcat says:

    Hey, Jeffery, and all your pals – ya better flip the pages back to my post on MPS on 2 Nov 2019:
    “As I am wont to remind the Buy-Bull thumpers – according to their B.S. fairy-tale book, Jesus wandered around Galilee for three years, accompanied by 12 men, NO wives, girlfriends, concubines, etc. Then, at the Last Supper, he told them, “Love ye, one another, even as I have loved you.” Now, you can’t tell me none of them ever got horny during those 3 years, so the conclusion is obvious: Jesus and his disciples were all GAY.”
    C’mon, guys – face the fact that your loyalty is in the wrong direction. Try reality, for a change.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. E.A. Blair says:

    Sez my gay neighbor: “If I get on my knees, it’s not for praying.”

    Liked by 3 people

  4. fry1laurie says:

    Colin Kaepernick, your thoughts?

    Liked by 2 people

  5. roket says:

    Too bad these poor saps can’t find a church where they can be gay and worship Jesus at the same time. Sad really.


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