News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Our old pal Liz ‘3-fingers’ Crokin gives us her 2020 predictions!

And right off, she dives into the deep by predicting that Tom Hanks(!) will be arrested for occult pedophilia, you know, as part of the Q-Anon thingie. The whole thing is nuts, but here are some choice tidbits that she uses to prove her case:

“One of the first movies he did was [The Man With One Red Shoe] … It was a movie about red shoes; we know that red shoes are significant and symbolic to the occult because they make leather red shoes out of babies’ skin.”

Well, that does fit in with what we know from Pope-N-Führer, who wore red Prada slippers.


¡GASP! The hat… is red! Must have been a big, succulent baby!

But I digress. Please continue, 3-Fingers:

“Tom Hanks was in a movie—Big—and, of course, the movie is based off of basically pedophilia because he’s a little kid in a grown man’s body that ends up having a sexual relationship with a grown woman. So a lot of anons are theorizing that he could be the first big name unsealed indictment. I think it’s a really good theory.”

How can I argue with logic like that? It’s like the witch-logic scene from The Holy Grail:

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6 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. julesmomcat says:

    Oh. My. Dawg. TG, WHERE do you find the patience/tolerance to listen to this effing bitch??? You deserve an award of the highest order. I certainly cannot tolerate her blown-out-of-reality ignorance. She’s as out of touch with reality, as is Suckface.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I couldn’t express it better, Julesmomcat. The crazy radiates from her as a palpable field. Her collection of wank pics, yarn, push pins, and flung feces have more to do with medication time with Nurse Ratched than any reality I’ve ever visited or hoped to visit.
    After watching Jesus Camp I should be inured to this, but I am puzzled and sickened every time.
    TG, what exercises do you do that trains your intestinal fortitude to this level ?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Infidel753 says:

    Listening to these people’s lurid delusions about people they dislike, one gets a sense of how the medieval witch trials and burnings could have happened. Can you imagine what people like her would do to their targets if they had effective power without institutional constraints?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:
  5. paul fredine says:

    can’t help but think that she’s going to be hearing from tom’s lawyers. happy new year, bitch.


  6. roket says:

    It’s easy to tell that arguing with her would be a complete waste of time.


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