#ITMFA Greatest Hits for Day 1

(H/t: Scissorhead D-Cap)

We’re at the end of Day 1 of the Great Jubilation, er, Impeachment Hearings and perhaps we should play the highlights reel:

    • The big, breaking news:  Bill Taylor, the top U.S. diplomat in Ukraine, testified that last Friday a member of his staff told him that he* (the staffer) overheard EU Ambassador Gordon Sondland discussing the investigations on a phone call with The Russian Usurper. When the staffer asked Sondland what Trump thought of Ukraine, “Ambassador Sondland responded that President Trump cares more about the investigations of Biden, which Giuliani was pressing for.”Ben Shapriro totally DESTROYS er, that revelation destroys the GOPers’ argument that our Grifter-in-Chief was an innocent naif, a veritable lamb lost in the scheme to pressure Ukraine into investigating his political rival. The mother-eff’er was getting a status update! [Mental note: subpoena Sondland’s phone NOW.]
    • Taylor also testified that withholding aid to Ukraine sends a signal to Russia — you know, Comrade Stupid’s paymaster who is waging a war in eastern Ukraine. You think?!
    • Taylor said he was not aware of any other instance of a president conditioning foreign aid on his personal or political interests, ever. Amen!
    • Asked what it meant when Trump said  that Comrade Trump wanted Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky in a public box, Taylor responded:

“Trump — through Ambassador Sondland — was asking for Zelensky to very publicly commit to these investigations. It was not sufficient to do this in private, that this needed to be a very public statement.”

    • Deputy Assistant Secretary of State George Kent testified that there is “no factual basis” for the allegations that Ukraine interfered in the 2016 election and that Biden acted improperly while pushing Ukraine to fire a prosecutor . In fact Kent said:

“I think it’s amply clear that Russian interference was at the heart of the interference.”


  • Taylor said that Zelensky and his aides believed it was a bad idea to interfere in U.S. elections, but that the Ukrainian president was still planning to go on CNN to announce the investigations Trump wanted. In other words, the extortion was working and he was about to give in.
  • Both gentlemen were asked (seriously!) if they are “Never Trumpers,” Taylor said that he is not. Kent replied he is a career diplomat who has carried out the policies of both Democratic and Republican presidents.

Gonna guess that if they were not Never Trumpers before, they sure are now! Anyone wanna put some Quatloos down on that one? No? OK.

And now, we must turn to the Republicans questioning:

It’s all bananas!

Before we get started, there is one thing we have to note: the Republicans’ strategy is to question that Taylor and Kent have had no direct discussions with Trump about his thinking on Ukraine. Which brings us to the center of a possible Obstruction of Justice argument the Shifty Schiff is surely gonna make:

The 4th Reich has blocked all administration officials who have had conversations with Trump from complying with House subpoenas! (Except EU Ambassador Gordon Sondland, who will testify in public next week.) So these poltroons are actually helping to make the obstruction charges themselves. 

It’s bananas.

      • Ranking Member and midnight runner Devin Nunes ran through a list of conspiracy theories of Ukrainian interference in the 2016 election and asked Taylor if he was aware of them. Taylor testified that he was not. D’uh.
      • Republican counsel pressed Taylor on whether the Ukrainians were “out to get the president.” (really!)  Taylor said he did not know. D’uh!
      • Kent confirmed that he reported his concern about  the optics of Hunter Biden serving on the board of Burisma. He emphasized he “did not witness any efforts by any U.S. official to shield Burisma from scrutiny.”
      • The Republican counsel argued that Wrong-Again Rudy and EU Ambassador Gordon Sondland’s involvement was “not as outlandish as it could be.”
    • Rep. Gym Jordan (R-See No Evil) went after Taylor for not having firsthand knowledge of Trump’s decision to halt military aid.

“And you’re their star witness!”

    • Rep. John Ratcliffe (R-Texas, the US Lab for Bad Policy) spent most of his time listing all of the times Zelensky said that he felt no pressure to open investigations:

“If House Democrats impeach President Trump for a quid pro quo involving military aid, they have to call President Zelensky a liar.”

  • Taylor said that it would be a sign of weakness for Zelensky to acknowledge to Ukrainians that he capitulated to a foreign leader. Ya think?!
  • Rep. Will Hurd (R-Retiring) asked if the “anti-corruption” statement being negotiated between Kurt Volker, Gordon Sondland, Rudy Giuliani and Ukrainian officials was ever issued. Kent responded:

“That was not an anti-corruption statement, sir. … Rudy Giuliani said it would not be acceptable if it didn’t mention Biden, Burisma and 2016.”


So… the question is, how is the Audience of One reacting? The official statement (kinda) from the press secretary Stephanie (two olives and a twist) Grisham:

And so I guess that brings us up to date with the events of the day. Please carry-on in the comments!

*The staffer with the new info is David Holmes, a political officer in the U.S. embassy in Ukraine. Holmes is scheduled for a closed-door deposition on Friday.

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7 Responses to #ITMFA Greatest Hits for Day 1

  1. C Montgomery Burns says:

    After 6 hours of nonsense this is what made me tear up

    Liked by 6 people

  2. donnah says:

    Honestly, it’s difficult to watch, because the Republicans just look ridiculous. Gym Jordan is such a fuckmonkey that everyone looked at him with pity and dismay. Nunes sounded like he was suffering a stroke and anything they had to say was gibberish.

    Adam Schiff did a great job keeping things moving and brooked little nonsense. Testimony by Kent and Taylor was presented with dignity and gravity, but even they had to laugh at some of the idiocy doled out by Jordan. There will be more to come, of course, but in spite of the Republican intent to disrupt the hearings, they did not.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Plummet says:

    Happy Impeachmas!

    Liked by 1 person

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