‘How Me Spent Dad’s Prznintcy,’ By Junior Mints

Junior Mints is as bright as he looks

As we’ve noted previously, Junior Mints has released a book he didn’t write for people who cannot read. The book is ironically titled, Triggered.

Excerpts are all over the internet and they include many self-serving howlers, but none probably more than this:

“I rarely get emotional, if ever. I guess you’d call me hyper-rational, stoic.”

I’d call you an entitled snowflake, actually. But do continue.

“Yet as we drove past the rows of white grave markers, in the gravity of the moment, I had a deep sense of the importance of the presidency and a love of our country…

You experienced gravity? Previously floating away, were ye?

“In that moment, I also thought of all the attacks we’d already suffered as a family, and about all the sacrifices we’d have to make to help my father succeed—voluntarily giving up a huge chunk of our business and all international deals to avoid the appearance that we were ‘profiting off of the office.’”

Wait. What? As he’s surrounded by actual heroes who lost their lives, this over-privileged twat waffle thinks about himself losing bidness? Oh, the HUMANITY!

But of course he’s lying about giving up international deals as he quickly proved in 2018:

“Beginning Tuesday, the junior Trump will have a full schedule of meet-and-greets with investors and business leaders throughout India where the Trump family has real estate projects — Mumbai, the New Delhi suburb of Gurgaon and the eastern city of Kolkata.”

Oh, and there’s this, too:

Despite opposition from many local residents, the Trump Organization on Thursday received approval in Scotland for what will be the largest new company-financed real estate development project since President Trump was elected: a major expansion of its golf resort near the northeast port city of Aberdeen.

The plans call for the construction of 500 homes, 50 hotel cottages, and sports and retail complexes next to the Trump family’s Aberdeen golf club, which has struggled financially since the company purchased the property more than a decade ago. A second 18-hole golf course is also planned on the 1,500-acre site, north of Aberdeen.

And then there’s the moment he laid it all out, and Eiron the Goddess of Irony laughed so hard that she ran down the hallway crop-dusting:

I interrupted, do continue:

“Frankly, it was a big sacrifice, costing us millions and millions of dollars annually… Of course, we didn’t get any credit whatsoever from the mainstream media, which now does not surprise me at all.”

Sonny boy, what your family deserves is coming.

Meanwhile, Junior is making the rounds promoting the book. It is not going well, as he is being asked question not about the book but about his judgement.

That will put you off your feed if you think about it too long.

And in what must be a meeting of the minds, Junior gets pwned by Soylent Blond:

If anyone ever questioned Junior Mint’s parentage, rest assured that he’s a chip off the ol’ blockhead.

UPDATE 1:

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16 Responses to ‘How Me Spent Dad’s Prznintcy,’ By Junior Mints

  1. tomshefchik says:

    A good collection and presentation of facts.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Diane says:

    Mamacita? Donnie Jr. needs a mommy. Fat Donnie needs his daughter.
    There’s so much going on in this article, it’s hard to focus on one thing. Ugh.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. MDavis says:

    Doesn’t put me off my feed, just makes me wonder if Kimberly engineered the Mints’ breakup for the purpose of getting close enough to the rudderless wreck that is Junior to get some political control over him.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Scottie says:

    Hello TG. Lying comes as easy to these snot brained useless immature selfish self serving deluded assholes as breathing. Although from the way he sniffs when talking I am not sure breathing is easy for tRump Sr. His dementia medications must interfere with his breathing. Hugs

    Liked by 3 people

    • MDavis says:

      I’ll allege that the sniffing is due to snorting something. It is most prominent when it is captured during a highly publicized event, one billed as really significant or important. This supports the theory that he is prepping for the big events by imbibing. Others have suggested specific drugs, but that isn’t a cold that has him sniffling. It’s self inflicted.
      Your description of the family, though, is spot on, if a bit too tactful.

      Liked by 1 person

    • R White says:

      FatNixon’s sniffing is due to his constant snorting of Adderall and then him popping Sudafed cold meds from UK that help keep his sinuses clear. A pic from his office a couple of years back celebrating Cinco de Mayo from his office with a taco salad from his dilapidated kitchen shows an opened desk drawer with such meds visible.

      That is why he has dilated pupils under such harsh lights during interviews as well as him sniffing constantly. The oft slurring of words is due to his dentures slipping since the vulgar fuck is too cheap to have veneers placed in his mouth.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Dennis Cole says:

    “Warning! Do not crush, chew or snort this medication!
    -Label on a bottle of Adderall

    Liked by 2 people

    • MDavis says:

      Like fat donnie can read!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dennis Cole says:

        MD – I think we covered that article, about the Sudafed in the drawer, I want to say, oh, a week or 10 days ago or so. A quick search of the archives will let you know.

        Like

      • tengrain says:

        Dennis – We did indeed have it, but I think it was in the comments not in a post. –TG

        Liked by 1 person

      • Dennis Cole says:

        If that’s the case, then I suspect I might be the one who posted it in the comments column, but if my rememberer (iz too a werd!) is still working, there were many, many comments, arguing about the strength of UK Sudafed vs. the US variety. And it might have been over 2, and perhaps even 3 weeks ago. I’m just too lazy right now to search properly. TGIF, and all that, like it even matters what day of the week it is to me.

        Liked by 1 person

      • MDavis says:

        Well that search went well. Thanks DC.
        I didn’t find it in comments or on MPS, but I did find a link on Infidel’s site, so that would have been a Sunday “Go see Infidel” post here.
        The link leads to a twitter thread:

        I don’t know what the format is, but pretty clear. Also, the picture is still on Trump’s twitter timeline, so I think I’ll go grab a copy. It could still be a plant, but it looks a lot more like incompetence. Had to get a little help to look excited about a salad, maybe.

        Liked by 2 people

      • tengrain says:

        It was a version of this (before photoshopped)

        Liked by 2 people

      • MDavis says:

        Yeah, sorry about that post of a long thread. I keep thinking that twitter will just give you the tweet you picked, and then I get the whole conversation. Anyway, I quit looking on MPS when I found it on Infidels link post.

        Liked by 2 people

  6. paul fredine says:

    ‘triggered’? should have really been titled ‘whining: it’s in the genes’. so much more accurate, ‘daddy, do you love me now’ will be the title of eric’s book. i’m sure that one will at least come with a box of crayons so daddy just might actually ‘read’ it. the problem with jr’s is there aren’t enough pictures.

    Liked by 1 person

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