As we’ve noted previously, Junior Mints has released a book he didn’t write for people who cannot read. The book is ironically titled, Triggered.
Excerpts are all over the internet and they include many self-serving howlers, but none probably more than this:
“I rarely get emotional, if ever. I guess you’d call me hyper-rational, stoic.”
I’d call you an entitled snowflake, actually. But do continue.
“Yet as we drove past the rows of white grave markers, in the gravity of the moment, I had a deep sense of the importance of the presidency and a love of our country…
You experienced gravity? Previously floating away, were ye?
“In that moment, I also thought of all the attacks we’d already suffered as a family, and about all the sacrifices we’d have to make to help my father succeed—voluntarily giving up a huge chunk of our business and all international deals to avoid the appearance that we were ‘profiting off of the office.’”
Wait. What? As he’s surrounded by actual heroes who lost their lives, this over-privileged twat waffle thinks about himself losing bidness? Oh, the HUMANITY!
But of course he’s lying about giving up international deals as he quickly proved in 2018:
“Beginning Tuesday, the junior Trump will have a full schedule of meet-and-greets with investors and business leaders throughout India where the Trump family has real estate projects — Mumbai, the New Delhi suburb of Gurgaon and the eastern city of Kolkata.”
Oh, and there’s this, too:
Despite opposition from many local residents, the Trump Organization on Thursday received approval in Scotland for what will be the largest new company-financed real estate development project since President Trump was elected: a major expansion of its golf resort near the northeast port city of Aberdeen.
The plans call for the construction of 500 homes, 50 hotel cottages, and sports and retail complexes next to the Trump family’s Aberdeen golf club, which has struggled financially since the company purchased the property more than a decade ago. A second 18-hole golf course is also planned on the 1,500-acre site, north of Aberdeen.
And then there’s the moment he laid it all out, and Eiron the Goddess of Irony laughed so hard that she ran down the hallway crop-dusting:
Actually just said by Donald Trump Jr: "I wish my name was Hunter Biden. I could go abroad and make millions off my father's presidency. I'd be a really rich guy" pic.twitter.com/9ohFDbwJn4
— Andrew Lawrence (@ndrew_lawrence) October 31, 2019
I interrupted, do continue:
“Frankly, it was a big sacrifice, costing us millions and millions of dollars annually… Of course, we didn’t get any credit whatsoever from the mainstream media, which now does not surprise me at all.”
Sonny boy, what your family deserves is coming.
Meanwhile, Junior is making the rounds promoting the book. It is not going well, as he is being asked question not about the book but about his judgement.
Trump Jr.’s partner, Kimberly Guilfoyle, is also on “The View.” Asked whether she advised him against outing the alleged whistleblower, Guilfoyle says she was in the bathroom and only realized it afterward: “I left you alone for 10 minutes; what happens when mamacita’s gone?”
— Felicia Sonmez (@feliciasonmez) November 7, 2019
That will put you off your feed if you think about it too long.
And in what must be a meeting of the minds, Junior gets pwned by Soylent Blond:
“You and your family have hurt a lot of people…” @MeghanMcCain says. “Does all of this make you feel good?”
— The View (@TheView) November 7, 2019
If anyone ever questioned Junior Mint’s parentage, rest assured that he’s a chip off the ol’ blockhead.
We changed the cover of Don Jr's book to make it a little more honest and put them up in Barnes and Noble. You're welcome, Junior! pic.twitter.com/ZZqfRP6Jhj
— Jason Selvig (@jasonselvig) November 7, 2019