Clue: In the Conservatory On 5th Ave.*, Gun, Mango-hued Shitgibbon
sharks, er, lawyers literally argued that if Comrade Stupid shot someone on 5th Avenue in NYC in broad daylight, law enforcement officers couldn’t do anything about it while he was in office. It’s a novel argument: It’s illegal to investigate a sitting president for any crimes he may have committed.
“The framers of our Constitution understood that state and local prosecutors would be tempted to criminally investigate the president to advance their own careers and to advance their political agendas. And they likewise understood that having to defend against these actions would distract the president from his constitutional duties.”
Lawyers from the prestigious firm of
Dewey, Screwem, and Howe, er, Consovoy McCarthy made the novel claim of immunity while fighting a subpoena for Trump’s tax returns in federal appeals court, arguing that a sitting president cannot be the subject of a criminal investigation or indictment.
Asked by Judge Chin about temporary presidential immunity, and using the statement Trump made that he could “stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody” and not “lose any voters,” Comrade Stupid’s attorney William Consovoy said that yeah that would totes be cool with the founding fathers.
Chin: “Local authorities couldn’t investigate? They couldn’t do anything about it? Nothing could be done? That is your position?”
Consovoy: “That is correct.”
Judges have already declared this argument is bananas, (technical legal term meaning “bananas”) but that was nice of Consovoy to prove that all those judges are right.
* See the comments for details. Thanks to BDR for obvious improvment!