It has come to our attention that the US Secret Service has requested a pair of jet skis to protect the Trump Crime Family. The justification?
“President Trump and his family spend several weeks throughout the year in Mara Largo FL and Hamptons NY. The First Family is very active in water sports,” the request reads, which was first highlighted by Washington-based WRC-TV reporter Scott McFarlane.”
How the SS plans to get jet skis into a Moscow hotel room filled with pee hookers remains classified.