Tucker: Gone Fishing

You guys, Minority Studies Scholar Tucker Carlson suddenly announced he was going on vacation right after announcing the upcoming civil war:

“Facing mounting controversy for declaring the very real problem of white supremacy in America to be a “hoax,” Tucker Carlson announced at the end of his Wednesday night Fox News show that he will be taking a vacation.”

Let us recall all the other times Fox “personalities” headed for hills:

I detect a pattern!

Anyway, the author of the CNN article reached out to the Fox Board of Directors for a comment, and hilarity ensues:

  • Fox spokesperson Hope Hicks did not provide a comment on behalf of either Rupert Murdoch or Lachlan Murdoch…
  • [former Telemundo CEO] Roland Hernandez answered my call, but when I started to ask my question, abruptly hung up. He did not reply to a follow-up text message…
  • A representative for Paul Ryan referred me to Fox. Hicks did not provide me a comment on his behalf…
  • Anne Dias did not respond to requests for comment
  • And the seventh member of Fox’s board, Jacques Nasser, could not be reached because I could not find a working telephone or email for him.

Weird, huh?

Here’s Tucker’s sudden announcement after coming back from a break at the end of his show (and [ALLEGEDLY!] being told to take some Paid Time Off–or else!):

“By the way,” he said, “I am taking several days off — headed to the wilderness to fish with my son.” Carlson added, “Politics is important, fishing with your son, sometimes more important. So I’m doing it.”

A river runs through it, eh? I wonder what fine Swanson products he’ll bring with him.


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7 Responses to Tucker: Gone Fishing

  1. “…and by ‘fishing’ I mean wearing our white robes and crying into our beer…” he did not (need to) add…


  2. Pyed says:

    [Not Rainbow] Trout already fried in a petroleum-based lubricant within an Swanson aluminum shell to preserve it throughout the eons and be ready to eat later near the end of nuclear winter.


  3. robginchicago says:

    Hope he gets “Fredo-ed” when fishing, and sleeps with the fishes.


  4. paul fredine says:

    ‘fishing with his son’? sounds like the kid’s being used for bait.


  5. roket says:

    Tucker, in the wilderness, with a fishing pole. Pictures or it didn’t happen.


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