Pop Quiz: The Pence (magical?) Mystery Tour!

Pence is the one on the right.

“Is it irresponsible to speculate? It would be irresponsible not to.” – Bacardi Lifetime Achievement Winner, Peggy Noonan, Wall St. Journal, April 2000.

Here’s the background info you need for this Bluebook Pop Quiz!

Walking termite buffet Mike Pence was set to give a speech on America’s opioid epidemic in New Hampshire yesterday [Ed. – What did NH do to deserve that? I’d be all, “Death, where is thy jolly old sting,” if I was there. –TG], Pence was in the plane when he received word from the White House to return.  The 250 or so attendees dodged that boring bullet and returned home too. Also.

Tiger Beat:

“Something came up that requires the VP to remain in DC. There is no cause for concern,” Gidley said, according to Yamiche Alcindor of PBS NewsHour.

“Alyssa Farah, Pence’s press secretary, shared a similar talking point on Twitter. “Something came up that required the @VP to remain in Washington, DC,” Farah wrote. “It’s no cause for alarm. He looks forward to rescheduling the trip to New Hampshire very soon.”

“Farah posted again roughly an hour later, tweeting Tuesday afternoon: “The @VP never left Washington, DC. There was no ‘emergency callback.’ Something came up that required the VP to stay in DC. We’ll reschedule NH shortly.”

“…a senior administration official told White House pool reporters that Pence’s cancellation “is not health related for the VP or President,” and “[n]othing related to national security.”

For 1/3 of a 17th of a point going towards your summer session grade, speculate irresponsibly on what happened! I’m going for it was Pence’s annual maintenance of Behr™ waterproofing and deck stain.

In the Comments, #2 Lead Pencils only.

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19 Responses to Pop Quiz: The Pence (magical?) Mystery Tour!

  1. Steve-O says:

    Pence was told there would be shirtless, oiled and well-muscled men parading around DC and he had to investigate!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sirius Lunacy says:

    AREAS OF HIGH RISK IN NEW HAMPSHIRE include Berlin, Claremont, Concord-NH, Dover-NH, Keene, Laconia, Lebanon-NH, Manchester-NH, Nashua, Portsmouth-NH, Rochester-NH and Somersworth.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Mother called to let him know that she found his cilice under the bed.


  4. w3ski4me says:

    No idea why but dog help us if Pence is in charge.


  5. robginchicago says:

    According to “DEBKA File”, this is what Pence was called back to Washington for (damn, I sure hope this is “Fake news”):

    Urgent consultations in Washington, Moscow on reported US-Russian submarines in firefight
    Jul 2, 2019 @ 22:24 Diane Shalem
    First reports reaching DEBKAfile’s military sources say that a US submarine intercepted a Russian nuclear sub in American waters opposite Alaska. The Russian sub escorting the nuclear submarine responded with a Balkan 2000 torpedo and scuttled the US vessel. Urgent consultations in both the White House and the Kremlin were taking place on Tuesday night. US Vice President Mike Pence called off an appearance in New Hampshire after being recalled to Washington for a conference called by President Donald Trump without explanation.

    Russian President Vladimir Putin cancelled an engagement and headed for the Kremlin to confer with Defense Minister Sergei Shoigu and military chiefs, after learning that 14 submariners died in a fire that broke out on a nuclear-powered “experimental submarine in Russian waters.” This account carried in Russian media varies in most respects from the first reports reaching this site and may refer to a separate incident. They report between 14 and 17 members of an AS-12 nuclear powered submarine died of poisonous fumes caused by a fire aboard the vessel. The submarine was described as experimental and unarmed but often used in spy missions. It is unclear how many of the 25 crew survived. Local media suggest four or five are receiving treatment in Severomorsk’s military hospital for poisoning and concussion injuries. Another news account said the majority of the officers died in or on their way to hospital. These reports do not cite the cause of the fire.

    Liked by 1 person

    • FELINE MAMA says:

      I read this yesterday. Not in full. Just that a NUKE sub was on fire & deaths reported. I guess more on the news last night. Guess not totally fake.
      Hey Traitor Don, talked to vlad?


    • Diane says:

      Does Pence handle the serious stuff and fat boy handles photo ops and tantrums?
      If I hadn’t read about this incident on another blog, I don’t think I would have heard about it.


      • Pyed says:

        You can’t have Pence handle any blowups or tantrums. If you think Trump’s bloated red face is hard to look at during a tantrum, just imagine Pence’s. Wood, when it contains an excess of sap, turns green.


    • Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

      He glanced at the memo, saw ‘Russian seamen’ and ‘going down’, and rushed back to DC.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Kent R Fossgreen says:

    Preznint Stable Genius was having an unusually intense nutty and someone thought it might be 25th amendment time.

    OK, totally not that, but isn’t it a nice fantasy that someone somewhere in the administration would actually realize that and act on it?


  7. Astamari says:

    Ok, there are two stories, apparently, here. One is the story widely reported about the Russian research sub in the Barents Sea that had the accident, etc. The other is the story nobody reported about a US sub being torpedoed by a Russian sub off the cost of AK and scuttled.

    The third story, also not widely reported, was that a large orange blimp in or near the WH experienced a major Adderall-related crazed thrashingness and Pence was recalled in case it might be 25th Amendment time.


  8. Pence had the only key to the Diet Coke locker.


  9. paul fredine says:

    my favorite theory (via wonkette?) was that during a twitter fueled rage the mfs got himself stuck on his golden turlet and they had a difficult time finding a jaws-of-life so for for several panicked minutes we were without a preznint and he had to make himself available ‘just in case’.


  10. Capt Bat Guano says:

    Sounds like the orange shitgibbon needed an emergency ballwashing that only Mike “don’t tell mother” Pence could properly deliver.


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