Happy Hour News Briefs
This will probably come as a complete shock to you, Gentle Readers: walking termite buffet Mike Pence celebrates Pride for the Administration by denying Pride Symbols:
Probably the first time he’s smiled since the Eisenhower administration without seeking permission from Madame Pence to loosen the cilice.
“I’m aware that the State Department indicated that on the flag pole of our American embassies that one flag should fly, and that’s the American flag, and I support that,” Pence told NBC News in an interview released Monday.
As we’ve noted before, poles make Pence very nervous. Jittery, even.
The vice president said that he and President Trump are “proud to be able to serve every American, and we both feel that way very passionately.”
“As long as they are white, cisgendered, straight Christians,” Pence did not say “With thighs like pistons that can pump all night. Oh, Jeebus, did I say that out loud?”