Hey guys, did you know that the Democrats have requested a ton of documents from The Russian Usurper, including financial information held by his longtime accountants Mazars USA and
money-launderer, er, Deutsch Bank and his tax returns from the Treasury Department?
It’s also true that Comrade Trump has stonewalled every request, suing Deutsche Bank and Mazars, and ensuring that Treasury Secretary/Worst Bond Villain Ever/Living Typo Steve Mnuchin refused to comply with a congressional subpoena.
The plan was to delay the process and then, when all else failed, have the Virgin Mayor of Keg City Brett Kavanaugh vote in Comrade Stupid’s favor, even if he was pulled out of a kegger at Squi’s house to do it. What are bros for, amiright?
What could go wrong?
Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, that’s what!
- MONDAY: 1) Judge Amit Mehta ruled that Mazars must turn over its Comrade Stupid’s records. Those documents BTW will probably include Mazars’ infamous disclaimers that it felt it must include, you know, that Individual 1 Tower is not in fact 68 stories tall, or that his terrible winery has something like 800 more acres than it has. The case is being appealed to… wait for it… Judge Merrick Garland’s court.
- MONDAY: b) The NYTimes reported that Prznint Stupid and his Fratsputin Jared Kushner’s Deutsche accounts had been flagged for “suspicious activity” that was never turned over to the gubmint.
- TUESDAY: The WaPo published draft I.R.S. legal memo that says that giving Trump’s tax returns to the House Ways and Means Committee is mandatory, and that the law does not allow the Secretary to exercise discretion in disclosing the information provided the statutory conditions are met. Oddly, the IRS Manual itself also states that the Ways and Means Chair does not need to give a reason for his request. One might reasonably conclude that the IRS’ own manual does in fact reflect the IRS’ official position!
- WEDNESDAY: 1) The NY legislature approved a bill that allows it to turn over Grifty McGrifter’s state tax returns to Congress if requested by the chair of the House Ways and Means Committee, or the Senate Finance Committee, or the Joint Committee on Taxation. Governor Cuomo is expected to sign it!
- WEDNESDAY: b) The WaPo tells us…
A federal judge on Wednesday rejected a request by President Trump to block congressional subpoenas for his banking records, dealing the latest blow to the president in his bid to battle Democratic investigations into his personal finances. The decision in the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York could clear the way for Deutsche Bank and Capital One to hand over the president’s financial records to Democrats in the House. Trump’s attorneys could appeal the decision. . . . House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) welcomed Wednesday’s ruling, saying she was “very excited” by the news. “Two in one week: Mazar Monday, Deutsche Bank today,” she said.
And of course, then the Curse of Infrastructure Week rose its ugly head!
Background: Comrade Stupid wants $2T Ameros to build and repair stuff, and so two weeks ago Chuck and Nancy told him, “hey, us too!,” and he was supposed to go find the money. Oddly, at the follow-up meeting (also on Wednesday), Prznint Spendthrift didn’t have the Ameros and needed a distraction or else be thought to be a LOSER, bigly!
Luckily, the Democrats provided him with one!
Anyway, that then lead to the entirely spontaneous (Fact check: FALSE!) press event in the Rose Garden wherein Prznint Stupid said that he would not
serve dessert unless the Democrats ate their vegetables negotiate with Democrats in Congress on an infrastructure package or other bipartisan policy proposals unless they call off their investigations.
Shorter Stupide: “Just wait till your father get’s home!”
“In any event, I pray for the president of the United States, and I pray for the United States of America.”
Note the totally spontaneous podium that appeared out of thin air, advance notice to the press, and the professionally printed placards on the podium.
But, you know, his notes are totally from hissown self:
and I think that brings us up to date.