Kris Kobach Konsidered For White House Role!

Snacks for the Kris (K?) Kobach?

Quick! Let’s say your career has been in free fall ever since you headed-up Hair Füror’s failed election integrity commission, and then you went on to lose your gubernatorial bid, and then your proof-of-citizenship voter law got struck down — and the judge found YOU in contempt of court and ruled that you must take continuing legal education classes.

What do you do?

Well, if your name rhymes with Kris Kobach (see what I did there?), you apply to be Hair Füror’s Immigration Czar and you make bizarre demands before you would consider accepting the job with all the humility that it requires!

Per the NYTimes the demands include:

  1. Office in the West Wing.
  2. Walk-in privileges with the president.
  3. Assistant to the President rank – at highest pay level for WH senior staff.
  4. Staff of 7 people (2 attorneys, 2 research analysts, 1 scheduler, 1 media person, 1 assistant).
  5. POTUS sits down individually with Czar and the secretaries of Homeland Security, Defense, Justice, Ag, Interior, and Commerce, and tells each of the Secretaries to follow the directives of the Czar without delay, subject to appeal to the President in cases of disagreement.
  6. 24/7 access to either a DHS or DOD jet. Czar must be on the border every week.
  7. Ability to spend weekends in KS with family on way from border back to DC, unless POTUS needs Czar elsewhere.
  8. Security detail if deemed necessary after security review.
  9. Serve as the face of Trump immigration policy – the principal spokesman on television and in the media.
  10. Promise that by November 1, 2019, the president will nominate Kris Kobach to be DHS Secretary, unless Kobach wishes to continue in Czar position.

Seems reasonable.

All he left out was where to drop the small, unmarked, and non-sequential bills that he would receive at the highest pay level for a senior staffer. So why does Kobach think he has so much leverage over Comrade Stupid?


The idea of Kobach becoming Hair Füror’s immigration czar (everything is Russian these days!) came about exactly because of Kobach’s radioactive career.  Prznint Comrade Der Füror raised the role with KK hisself after realizing that Kobach would have trouble being confirmed as D.H.S. Secretary.

Ya think? Well, maybe not:

“National Republicans are prepared to intervene in the Kansas Senate primary to ensure that conservative firebrand Kris Kobach does not win the party’s nomination should he run, multiple sources told the Kansas City Star.

“Kobach said last week that he is still “actively considering” a bid for the U.S. Senate next year in Kansas. The seat will come open with the retirement of Republican Sen. Pat Roberts, 83, who announced in January that he would not run for re-election.”

Amply be-chinned Mitch McConnell would do anything to put the kabosh on Kobach losing Kansas’ senate seat to the Dems, which includes ensuring that Kobach has another job.

We’re so eff’ed in the dark.

This entry was posted in immigration, racism, snark, The New Confederacy, White Punks on Dope. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Kris Kobach Konsidered For White House Role!

  1. julesmomcat says:

    Oooh – Suckface has a competitor for the position of Dictator-in-Chief. Succession depends on a dose of lead poisoning.


    • Dennis Cole says:

      [ED – Sorry – Removed the comment for eliminationist language.

      Hi Secret Service! Nuttin’ to see here! — TG]


  2. Boris says:

    In a more equitable Universe, the president* would rise no higher in life than MC for the Shriners’ annual Imperial Sessions (not counting that one time Lewis took ill at the last second before the MDA telethon and Sammy was already booked, Dino was off on a drunk somewhere and Frank just looked down his nose at the supplicant, until someone thought of ‘lil Donny Trump. A call was made…but at the last second Buddy Greco stepped in and all was right with the world.)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sirius Lunacy says:

    Kobach should not be trusted with any position higher than being the guy who oranges which covfefe Hair Furor gets with his hamberders.

    Liked by 2 people

Comments are closed.