News That Will Drive You To Drink (Save the Date!)

Happy Hour News Briefs

As you might recall, las month our old pal Coach Dave made the 16-hour round trip drive to the Clinton’s house in New York because, the Holy Spirit had issued an indictment against her, as the Bird has been known to do now and then. Anyway Coach Dave stood outside their empty house and yelled at it to surrender.

And so of course, he and his buddies are planning on a road trip for memorial day weekend to go again and demand she be arrested for being Jezebel or sumpin’ illegal like that. And who know? Maybe have a BBQ? That would be nice.

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9 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink (Save the Date!)

  1. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    Damn, I will no doubt have to work on Memorial Day, it would have been worth driving twenty miles to troll this asshole.


  2. Astamari says:

    I love your site, MPS, but I don’t get out of the boat to watch these weird-ass arshlochs.


  3. MDavis says:

    Always read the Chyrons.
    “The Spiritual Significance of Hillary’s Crimes”. What? Maybe “never divide by zero”?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. paul fredine says:

    this schmuck needs to be committed.


  5. Dennis Cole says:

    “The legend lives on, from Brooklyn on down
    Of the election of two-thousand sixteen.
    The media it’s said, never poked out its head
    To stop the Wreck of the Hillary Clinton.”

    (My apologies to Gordon Lightfoot. Although I might conjure up some more verses, if my Scissorhead fan club can convince me I just might have a hit on my hands.)


    • Karla says:

      Yes yes yes – please write more verses.


      • Dennis Cole says:

        OK, then. One fan’s request is enough.

        The legend lives on, from Brooklyn on down,
        Of the election of two-thousand sixteen.
        The media it’s said never raised up its head
        To ensure Hillary would become Queen.

        With a load of bullshit that just wouldn’t quit,
        Donald Trump was the media’s darlin;
        And through all the debates he just couldn’t wait
        To destroy Bernie Sander’s poor starling.

        Yes, Trump was the pride of the conservative side,
        From White Nationalists to the Tea Party;
        And as huge blowhards go, he was bigger than most,
        As he strutted around hale and hearty.

        Concluding some terms with some shady Russian firms,
        He desired to build a Trump Tower;
        In Moscow they said, with some help from old Vlad,
        All he needed was the ultimate power.

        The taps on the wires made a tattletale sound,
        So the FBI came around peekin’;
        But all that they found was a big fat orange clown,
        So corrupt that he began reekin’.

        The debates came and went, and the money was all spent,
        And the pundits were all slyly hintin’;
        That Trump could pull through, leaving Democrats to stew
        O’er the Wreck of the Hillary Clinton.

        The election was done, the results were no fun,
        As the Electoral College came slashin’.
        And though she had more, the last final score
        Showed that Trump had won after a fashion.

        No need to recount, it was time to dismount,
        Without second-guessin’ or thinkin’
        And later that night, giving up without a fight,
        Came the Wreck of the Hillary Clinton.

        (Eat your heart out, Al Yankovich.)


  6. I will love to see how entertained the Secret Service are by his antics, if the Clintons are home. If not, maybe he can bring along Clint Eastwood’s chair to yell at, as kind of bonus…


  7. roket says:

    I’m sorry but I really don’t think Xtians taking a knee at a private residence will have as much punch as a football player taking a knee during the National Anthem. You’re going to have to do better than this.


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