I’m still trying to digest the news from yesterday that strategic hire AG Bill ‘Low’ Barr has not looked at the evidence underlying the Mueller Report, and that his Renfield (AG Rod Rosenstein) didn’t read it either.
Law students: take note of the majesty of the law, and how dissimilar it is to a 3 Stooges pie fight.
Anyway, I am imaging this more like a courtroom drama, maybe like the famous scene in A Few Good Men when Tom Cruz interrogates Jack Nicholson, only with Kamala Harris interrogating Bill Barr. Other dramatic personae, stage direction, and motivation in brackets!
A Few Good Mensch – has a catchy title, huh?
Harris: “Did anyone in your executive office review the evidence supporting the report.”
[Cory Booker, playing Demi Moore, tries to not giggle.]
Harris: “Yet you represented to the America public that the evidence was not ‘sufficient to support an obstruction of justice offense?’”
[Barr condescends to man-splain (DOJ-splain?) how the DOJ works to Sen. Harris, who weirdly was a state AG and knows this.]
Barr: “This is not a mysterious process. In the Department of Justice we have memos every day coming and we don’t go and look at the underlying evidence.”
[Harris gives Barr the withering stink eye you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me, right? look.]
Harris: “As the Attorney General, you run the U.S. Department of Justice. If in any U.S. attorneys office around the country the head of that office, when being asked to make a critical decision, about in this case the person who holds the highest office in the land, and whether or not that person committed a crime, would you accept them recommending a charging decision to you if they had not reviewed the evidence?”
[Barr basically squirms, tries to dodge.]
Barr: “That’s a question for Bob Mueller. He‘s the U.S. attorney, he’s the one who presents the report.”
Harris: “But you made the charging decision, sir.”
Barr: “What, uh—”
Harris: “You made the decision not to charge the president.”
Barr: “In a [prosecution] memo—”
Harris: “You said it was your ‘baby,’ what did you mean by that?”
Barr: “It was my baby to decide whether or not to disclose it to the public.”
Harris: “And who had the power to make the decision about whether or not the evidence was sufficient to make a determination of whether there had been an obstruction of justice.”
[This is the “YOU CANNOT HANDLE THE TRUTH” moment, and note that he cannot say that it is HE that makes the decision!]
Barr: “Prosecution memos go up to the supervisor, in this case the A.G. and the deputy A.G. who decide on the final decision and that is based on the memo as represented by the U.S. attorney’s office.”
[Harris, knowing she has just nailed the SOB to the barn door, continues.]
Harris: “I think you’ve made it clear that you have not looked at the evidence and we can move on.”
[Next Scene: Instead of A Few Good Men, our courtroom drama switches to the courtroom scene finale of The Pink Panther and Barr is in the role of Inspector Clouseau.]
Harris: “Has the president or anyone at the White House ever asked or suggested you open an investigation into anyone?”
Barr: “Um, I wouldn’t, uh—”
Harris: “Yes or no?”
Barr: “Could you repeat that question?”
Harris: “Has the president or anyone at the White House ever asked or suggested you open an investigation into anyone? Yes or no please, sir.”
Barr: “Uh, the president or anyone else—”
Harris: It seems you’d remember something like that and be able to tell us.
Barr: “I’m trying to grapple with the word “suggest”. . . there have been discussions of matters out there that . . . they have not asked me to open an investigation but . . “.
Harris: “Perhaps they’ve suggested?”
Barr: “I wouldn’t say suggested—”
Barr: “I don’t know.”
Barr: “I . . . don’t know.”
[Sweating profusely, Barr pulls out his handkerchief, and the Pink Panther Diamond drops on his lap.]