Chase Bank New Slogan, ‘So You Cannot’ ?

Use in case of Avocado Toast emergency

For reasons only know to itself, yesterday Chase Bank’s social media team tried to be a cool kid and tweeted (and then deleted) one of those oh-so-hip dialog tweets that the Yutes of Today find so charming:

Now, of course the Chase social media team is probably the target demographic of that FAIL (could it have been—¡gasp!—deliberate?) being millennials in debt up to their eyeballs, you know, from spending every penny they have on Avo-Toast (as the Olds insist on believing), while their employer earned $9B Ameros last quarter, and whose CEO Jamie Dimon didn’t know how an average JPMorgan Chase teller could afford to live, well, anywhere. Dimon’s salary last year: $31M Ameros. That’s a lot of Avo-Toast, buddy.

(JPMorgan Chase also had a public bailout of $12B Ameros during the Great Recession, so maybe they shouldn’t be throwing 25-carat rocks while living in Waterford Crystal mansions.)

Anyway, Senator Professor Warren replied to Chase, and it was a thing of beauty:

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8 Responses to Chase Bank New Slogan, ‘So You Cannot’ ?

  1. Dennis Cole says:

    This is in the news, besides, as well: tRump is suing the douches at Deutsche Bank and Capitol One to prevent them from complying with subpoenas requesting records that he and his family, and their criminal enterprises, er, totally legit businesses are involved in. Now, I’m not certain if these suits will actually have any effect on if the subpoenas are honored or not, but for Don the Con it’s SOP. Sue the bastards, and then drag it all out in the courts until the defendants give up from the expense, or just sheer drudgery, or both.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Astamari says:

      Unless the presiding judge is a Trump/GOP flunky, these suits should be tossed as meitless obstruction of a legitimate Congressional investigation.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Dennis Cole says:

        And these days, with Mitch “Da Bitch” stuffing the courts with right-leaning judges, the odds of it being a Drumpf-lover (or admirer,) are about 50-50 by my best estimations.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Bruce388 says:

    You: Why is my bank balance so low?
    Bank account: You need to check out a credit union.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. MDavis says:

    Yeah, apparently Warren’s call out of a $25B bailout for Chase is correct. If this tweet is correct (the second, erm, attachment, I guess(?) is a correction to bailout numbers…


  4. Well imagine the Wells Fargo version:

    You: “Why is my bank balance so low?”
    Chorus of accounts: “Because of the fees from all the accounts you didn’t know you had!”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. roket says:

    I’m guessing raising interest rates on savings accounts is out of the question.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. A.J. says:

    I saw this earlier on another site and thought it was a joke!!! Jesus’ holy taint!,

    Liked by 2 people

Comments are closed.