Orchids of Asia Has Competition at Merde-a-Lardo!*

All the newsies this morning are reporting that the Secret Service arrested a Chinese woman who bypassed layers of security and gained access to the reception area of Merde-a-Lardo this weekend.


“A woman carrying two Chinese passports and a device containing computer malware lied to Secret Service agents and briefly gained admission to President Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago club over the weekend during his Florida visit, federal prosecutors allege in court documents. Yujing Zhang, 32, approached a Secret Service agent at a checkpoint outside the Palm Beach club early Saturday afternoon and said she was a member who wanted to use the pool, court documents said. …

“Zhang’s story changed when she got inside, agents say, telling a front desk receptionist she was there to attend the United Nations Chinese American Association event scheduled for that evening. No such event was scheduled and agents were summoned. … Zhang carried four cellphones, a laptop computer, an external hard drive and a thumb drive containing computer malware. She did not have a swimsuit.”

So much for mixing bidness with pleasure at Comrade Stupid’s grift shop. I mean, since he lets members make policy decisions for The Veterans Administration , or watch potentially nuclear war start over beautiful chocolate cake, finds purse-designer ambassadors, etc., from his bribers, er, donors, I don’t see why assorted spies from other countries cannot go to Merde-a-Lardo to grease his small, orange, palms. Cut out the middleman! Art of the Self-Deal!

* I owe 4 Quatloos to my friends because as it turned out, it was not Elaine Chao, afterall.

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7 Responses to Orchids of Asia Has Competition at Merde-a-Lardo!*

  1. laura says:

    CBS morning infotainment blond reporting on the most scandalous story to break (until the next flood of scandal broke out yesterday) referred to Mal de Lagoon as the Winter White House and a private, members only, club in the same sentence.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well, I read a fairly good comment thread at Ars Technica about this event , https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2019/04/woman-from-china-carrying-malware-on-thumb-drive-illegally-entered-trump-resort/ and I generally agree with them…if this one is a chinese spy, she’s comically bad at it.

    In particular, the ‘thumb drive containing computer malware’ is probably ‘average thumb drive in the possession of a someone living and using computers in Asia’ .


  3. Also too, the Orange Cheetolini refuses to give up his non-secure tweeter binky, so who needs to bring any malware to the party. The biggest problem he has with it is probably when the Russian malware starts fighting with the Chinese And Bone Sawdi malware on it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. roket says:

    Is Merde-a-Lardo restricted? Asking for a Jewish friend.


    • tengrain says:

      Actually, no. Hair Füror tried to claim that was what distinguished it from the other Palm Beach Clubs (Fact Check: they were not restricted either). If you have the Ameros, you’re in.




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