News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Thanks for the memory:

“I’m at this fashion show,” [Vanessa] Trump said, recalling their meeting in 2003. ‘Donald Trump comes up to me with his son: ‘Hi, I’m Donald Trump. I wanted to introduce you to my son Donald Trump Jr.’”

The three engaged in a brief, awkward conversation.

At intermission, the elder Trump again noticed a gorgeous girl nearby.

“Donald comes back up to me again, ‘I don’t think you’ve met my son Donald Trump Jr.,’” Vanessa Trump recalled. She remembers responding, “Yeah, we just met, five minutes ago.” . . .

Six weeks later, at a birthday party at a [New York] restaurant, they were introduced a third time, this time by a mutual friend. Neither remembered the other. “We talked for an hour,” she recalled.

Then suddenly, something clicked: Wait, you were at that fashion show. Wait, you’re . . . “the one with the retarded dad!” Vanessa blurted out.

How Lovely It Was:

Donald Trump Jr. and his estranged wife, Vanessa, have settled their divorce, the pair announced Friday.

“We finalized our agreement at the end of last year,” the former couple said in a joint statement. “We are incredibly lucky to have five amazing children and are committed to raising them together. Our kids and their happiness will always be our first priority.”

No tears, no fuss… Hooray for us

I sincerely hope that Vanessa got a good deal and got it in cash, because this one is up next:

Jr. Mints and Poo

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10 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. Ten Bears says:

    I can think of someplace to stuff that shotgun. I’;; leave it to your imagination.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. They say that gunhumpers are using their gunz to compensate for other…shorcomings. So it’s entirely appropriate that his is….drooping….

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Bruce Strickland says:

    Traitor Tot has eye protection. His current sweetie does not. Yep, he’s daddy’s boy.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. you dumbo, you will never make your dad love you with a FUCKING brunette!


  5. Osirisopto says:

    On the road to Africa with scum and skeevie never made it in the nox office.


  6. Pingback: REAL Vote Fraud, Hiding the Report, Weak President, Revenge on SNL –

  7. C Montgomery Burns says:

    ‘…. Wait, you’re . . . “the one with the retarded dad!” Vanessa blurted out.’

    And they lived happily ever after.


  8. Buttermilk Sky says:

    She enabled him to spawn. No sympathy.

    Liked by 2 people

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