Bad Ads, Cont.

Yeah, the problem is her sin cave. And meanwhile, he’s shaking hands with Jeebus.

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33 Responses to Bad Ads, Cont.

  1. One wonders if these people ever think of anything BUT spanking the monkey…

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  2. Bruce388 says:

    “Self-raped her sin cave?” Sounds pretty hot.

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  3. E.A. Blair says:

    I tried going to the website shown in the ad – http://www.stopmasturbationnow.com, and immediately got redirected to https://www.livejasmin.com/en/girls/?utm_source=promotools&utm_medium=other&utm_campaign=main&utm_content=redirect, which is a site for live sex cam shows.

    If people stuck to marrying only people who have never masturbated, the marriage rate would fall to near zero (or the marriagable age would have to be lowered to around 5*).

    *Even this might not work because fetuses in the womb have been observed touching their crotches.

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  4. C Montgomery Burns says:

    As the song goes….”God is watching us…”

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  5. Ringing the devil’s doorbell. Gives new meaning to ding dong ditch, doesn’t it.

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    • Bruce388 says:

      If it’s the devil’s doorbell, why did Carmen holler “Oh, my god!” repeatedly when I was investigating?

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  6. HarpoSnarx says:

    Introducing a new Faux segment, “Sticky Fingers,” starring local germ pimp and proud brain dead, open mouth Gooper “Peter” Hegseth who doesn’t wash hands after a vigorous self rub . . .

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  7. purplehead says:

    I think one of the problems might be the Christian mothers are against masturbating with James Dobson and 36 other people. I think they should be for it. Might cure them of virulent xtianity.

    Liked by 2 people

    • MDavis says:

      I read the headline that way as well. I can’t imagine being for masturbation with James Dobson, let alone those 36 others. I thought masturbation was (often) a private affair. Er, so to speak.

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  8. I recall hearing a statistic once that 90% of people asked about it admitted to masturbating, and the other 10% were damn liars. It is true that large rings (and long manicures) don’t always agree with the sin cave, though.

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    • revzafod says:

      At my age I have many happy memories of entering sin caves, but be careful, and send a scout out to explore first, like your tongue.

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  9. “devil’s Doorbell” is to precious for words. “I keep pushing it and nobody ever comes”

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  10. Self-raping is a sin. Being raped by a priest, just shut up and beg Gawd for forgiveness for your wanton ways, slut.

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  11. did someone find Mike Pence’s private Facebook page?

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  12. Osirisopto says:

    Don’t marry her. Take to dinner and a show.

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  13. moeman says:

    Cheaper to use a carat.

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  14. JDM says:

    How exactly does one make this determination?

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    • suedoise2 says:

      Just ask her. All meaningful relationships have to be based on honesty and trust. After she’s honest and trusting with you, ditch her and see if you can find a nice girl who knows where the Lord’s doorbell is located!

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  15. vonBeavis says:

    All of these smart Scissorheads and no one, including Tengrain, mentioned the spelling of remember as “remeber”?
    This one goes with morans and “Thank you fox for keeping us informed.”

    Liked by 1 person

  16. icis says:

    originally made as a satire. But funny still. “Dodson” instead of “Dobson” is a bit of a giveaway.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. MDavis says:

    Bing! [insert lightbulb lighting here] If masturbation is “self-raping” to these bozos that explains a whole lot about attitudes toward rape by that same crowd.

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