Eat The Rich
“From champagne corks flying towards a Picasso to cornflakes splashed on a Basquiat painting, the perils facing billionaires’ floating art collections aren’t those sailors typically fear on the high seas. But the world’s ultra-rich are filling superyachts with so many masterpieces that conservators are teaching captains and crew how to care for art as well as to pamper passengers.”
You see, poor little J. Ambrose McFatcat III, was afraid of the Basquiat, so he threw his bweakfast at it:
“Pandora Mather-Lees, an Oxford-educated art historian and conservator, started giving lessons after a billionaire asked for help to restore a Jean-Michel Basquiat painting damaged not by sea spray, but by breakfast cereal. “His kids had thrown their cornflakes at it over breakfast on his yacht because they thought it was scary,” Mather-Lees said. “And the crew had made the damage worse by wiping them off the painting.”
So naturally, the solution is not to keep keep Jr. from being a spoiled dick, or move the paintings to dry dock back at stately McFatcat manor, no, the solution is to train the yacht crew in the fine art of conservatorship. You know, so when they are not oiling the teak, or polishing the Christofle, they can be restoring the Picassos when his nibs decides to draw Pokemon on The Weeping Women.
As one does.
In totally unrelated news: